A to Z Challenge: Returning to Dreams

In the dark times when you have to find who you are, you also need to work out where you want to be going.

Even if you're not exactly sure about what you want from your future, there's a definite, sure-fire way to at least get going. Start going through all your memories. See what you've wanted to do since you were a little child.

Look for patterns. I'm not talking about becoming an astronaut because you wanted to when you were seven. I'm saying that you should look for the things you love and have always loved. Like if you wanted to learn the piano for years, but never got to. Or if you always loved working with people, but ended up working on computers all the time.

Those are the sorts of things you go for. Because if you have a deep desire to do something, it might be because you were made to do it. So if you take action towards those things, you automatically add value to your life.

So go take piano lessons. Or help out at church or whatever it takes to satisfy the desire you've neglected for years.

Or if you know that you want to turn that something into a career, start planning and moving towards that. You don't always have to just drop everything and upend your life. It can be a gradual shift towards your goal.

Bit by bit, you'll get where you want to be.

One day, you'll look around you and realize that you took charge of your life years ago. The day you started chasing down your dreams.

Prayer

Lord, 

Thank you for giving me dreams and wishes that can guide me towards what I'm supposed to be doing. 

I'm sorry that I shoved them aside for so long. It was a terrible mistake, and I want to live my life as you intended. 

Please help me find those dreams again. Help me to find a way to bring them to life, Lord. And please help me to let them come true. 

I ask this in Jesus's name. 

Amen.

Will be back on Wednesday

As you may know, my novel Doorways has been accepted for publishing by Etopia press. 

It's an absolutely thrilling event in my life, since getting published is one of my biggest dreams. However, it'll bring quite a significant change to my writing life, I think. So I just need a day or so to come to terms with everything. 

Hope you don't mind! But I can't really concentrate on doing a good post at the moment, since my mind is whirling about like crazy. 

Any published authors reading this? Any of you feel overwhelmed when you got accepted? 

How I did in 2012

Hi all! We've all come to the end of another year. Overall, 2012 was a really good one for me and my family. We were so blessed. For that, I just want to thank God and ask that the blessings keep on coming. 

In the mean time, here's one last look at how I did this year with my goals. If you want to know my goals for 2013, you'll need to go to MFB. 

Writing:

I want to finish Doorways before 30 June. 

Finished, but a bit late. 

I will query Doorways on 1 July.
Queried, but closer to September because of the above. 

I want to finish the WiP2 rewrite by 30 September.
I decided not to, since I no longer felt a spark. 

I want to finish the Don't Look Back draft by 31 December.
I finished it, although the ending left me dissatisfied. Luckily, I managed to work out what went wrong and what I want to do for the rewrite. 

I want to finish at least one draft of the musical libretto by 31 December.
This one was unrealistic from the start. Both me and my writing partner got stuck in other projects and activities. 

I might want to look at Guardian again.
This I did. It's currently an active draft. 

Reading:

I want to read more (crit partners' manuscripts don't count).
I think I read more than last year. 

I want to read Shakespeare, Austen and Martin.
No Shakespeare or Martin, but I read most of Austen. I only have Emma left.

Life:

Auditions, auditions, auditions. 

Went to one acting audition in the area. Musical ones will wait until my voice settles down completely. I did, however, take part in my first concert as a soloist this year. 

I want to master at least intermediate cooking.
I'd like to think I managed this one. 

I want to spend more time designing.
This is one of a few activities that I didn't get time for. 

I want to brush up on my French and Mandarin (at least one of the two) and take another language.
This was another.

I want to take classes in a musical instrument. Either piano or guitar.
I started taking guitar. Stopped when the year grew too busy, but I might continue next year, especially now that I don't have as many activities on weeknights. 

I also want to get out more next year. Cabin fever never did suit me.
This I did, sometimes to my detriment. 

Since I achieved four goals in 2011, I want to achieve six in 2012.

Achieved eight, six of which were unconditional. :-D

Yay! It's a great feeling to see how much I got done. 

How did you do? 

Change

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I'm at a strange point in my life. It's about a year after I finished university, it feels like I'm really hitting the transition phase. You know the one?

All my friends as getting married or are having babies. Most of us are drifting away from each other. And it's sad. For the past five or so years, I relied on them, laughed with them, cried with them. We were there for each other...

But every day I realize more and more that, although we'll stay friends and I'll have great memories to cherish, the season on most of my friendships is now autumn. Maybe some of them will make it back to spring soon, but I think most of them won't.

It's just that... well... we're spread over the world, doing our own things. Living our lives. Without each other. Making friends to fill the gaps left by our friends of old.

I guess that's why I'm feeling this change so keenly. For the most part of last year, a large part of my life went on hold to build the business I now work for. My social life suffered for it and I didn't meet new people my age. Now it's different. I can afford a life again. And with it came an opportunity to start making new friends. But in the mean time, there's this gap that I'm still having to fill.

It'll happen. But in the mean time, I'm having to spend more time either working on growing new friendships or alone. There's no time where I can be just in between with someone. And it makes me quite lonely.

Still... there are many opportunities as I get more involved with my church and my community.

But that's not the only thing that's changing in my life. My professional life is going from strength to strength, but my music is suffering a little because of a lack of time. But at the same time, my work gave me a frame around which I could stretch my time to finish edits. And yes. They're done. I have a finished manuscript. So all in all, not bad. But this is the time when I have to let my manuscript loose on the world. It's when I have to focus my work more in an attempt to be even more successful. It's when I have to look at my art. At what I want to write next.

All this is so At the same time, it's a little scary, because transition means something else. I get to shift priorities again. Do I change my goals? Set new ones? Do I decide to spend more time on friends or less on art? Or do I find friends (somehow) who understand my passions?

This is also the moment when I take stock. What's worth it? What's not? Because before I do that, I can't decide where to go in the future. Granted, I'm pretty sure I'm happy with the way things are going so I might not change much at all...

Anyone else reaching a transition in your life?

Committing Time to You.

All people have things they want to do. Some things are easy. Some are really hard. But often, none of those things get done. Not even the easy ones.

When that happens, people seem to spend an incredibly huge amount to explain why bad luck was at blame. Or that the circumstances aren't favorable to start right now, but later. Except that the circumstances never seem to turn.
And then they look at the (VERY) few people who do in fact do what they want and are as a whole a lot happier than the people around them. And they wish. If only they could do what they wanted. If only they had that level of success.

And on and on and on.

Sad thing is this. The differences between the people who are going after what they want and people who wish they did can probably be brought down to one thing: commitment.

If you keep procrastinating and waiting for a better day to start, you never will. Because here's the fact: there is no such thing as an ideal day. There will always be little or big things that niggle. Especially in the beginning.  

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If you focus on those niggles and let them keep you from starting, what you want will never happen. Things that make us truly happy never just fall into our laps by luck. We have to go after them with everything we've got.

So if you want to paint, find a way to take art classes. Maybe the ones in your area might be too expensive. Don't start looking for a class that is in your price range. Or if you want some time to be alone, try to make some.

If you keep making the things you want to do a priority, you'll do at least some of them. And sure, kids and family responsibilities can make things harder, but as I said, doing things you want to do depends on your level of commitment.

You might not be able to do as much of what you want as you'd like, or you might not do all of it, but just the fact that you spend some time at something you're passionate about will make a difference in your life.

The way I suggest for someone to take on something important to them: Start by committing a small block of time to it and make that time a priority. I've found that when I do things that I love, I automatically make more time for the things I truly enjoy.

For me it's come to the point where I hardly ever watch t.v. because those hours of staring at the t.v. just don't give me any particular joy. Nothing that compares to the thrill of finishing a piece of writing, or the relaxation of creating something with my hands.

So yeah... if you want to take charge of your life by focusing on something you love, start small and work your way up. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

If you could do anything in your life right now, what would it be? Do you think there's a possibility that you can fit it into your life, even if it isn't in the way you would ideally do it?

A to Z Challenge: You'll Get There

Sometimes, I sort  of stop what I'm doing and think: What on earth am I thinking? This is impossible.

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And it does often look like that. Taking charge of one's life is a huge task. One that will never be finished. So in a sense, I'm completely correct in thinking that I'm doing something impossible. But... that should never stop any one of us.

It's something that we have to learn to live with. We have to accept that we'll always be doing more, learning more, changing. We won't ever be masters of taking charge of our lives.

But... one day, you will come to the point where you're master of your life.

It won't happen with fireworks and fanfare. It's just something that will occur to you. Hey... I'm owning my life and handling it responsibly. I'm following God's plan, not only for me, but my role in God's bigger picture. 


It's a truly special feeling. One that I truly hope that every one of you will get to experience one day.

A to Z Challenge: X Marks the Spot AKA Know Where You're Going

Wow, I can't believe how fast April is going by. But it just goes to show you. Time can pass with relative ease when you have at least some sort of plan.

I mean, I only planned in the broadest sense, but I knew where this blog was headed for April, so I didn't have any issues with delivering the posts. Even though I didn't manage to schedule more than the first six or so days.

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Life's a lot like that too. You don't have to plan every tiny detail, but having at least a vague idea of where you're headed helps a lot. It shows you what needs to be done. Also, it gives you an idea of when these things need to be done.

Also, knowing where you're headed is a lot like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey. Especially when that place is somewhere you want to be.

But if you don't know yet, don't force yourself to decide. That just opens you up to "helpful" outsiders who invariably give you bad advice that you'll follow, because you won't know it's bad until later.

And yes, I know this from experience. Much better to give yourself time to decide. And remember, once you decide on what you want, you don't have to lock yourself in. If you find yourself being miserable in something you thought you'd enjoy, change your destination and move on.

At least you would have learnt from the bad experience.

If you insist on staying just because you chose it, you're just making yourself miserable, and it's not what taking charge of your life is about.

So yes, it's okay to change where you're headed, as long as you're headed somewhere, and at least have a clue about where you want to be.

Did you ever choose to do something and end up hating it? Did you move on or did you stay? How did it work out for you?

A to Z Challenge: Trust

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The thing about going after your big dreams is that more often than not, your dreams become bigger than you are.

Take me, for instance. Once, my one dream was to write every day. Once I did that, it became to write a story. Then to finish one. Then to publish one. My novel isn't even out of edits and my dream turned into my books being widely read and loved. 

And that last part of my dream is bigger than me. Because I'll just admit that I have no idea how I'm going to manage it. 

And here's the thing. I won't. I can write every day. I can make my book as good as it possibly can be. But I can't make people like it. Which makes traditional publishing nearly impossible. Or having people like my book. I have absolutely no influence on public tastes. 

BUT God does. God wants us to do well. And He wants to bless us and our big dreams. All we have to do is follow His will and trust Him with them. 

There's no safer place for our dreams to be. After all, who gave them to you in the first place? 

Do you also struggle to trust God with your big dreams, sometimes? 

A to Z Challenge: Stand Out

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It's something that really fascinates and frustrates me at the same time. People seem to be ashamed of the gifts that God gave them.

Have you ever noticed how people can't take a sincere compliment? Do you notice it in yourself?

I know that modesty is fed to us from the moment we're born, but it's just nonsense. Where does it stand that we have to be mediocre to be good people. And where does it stand that we're supposed to pretend to be average?

We're not. No one is. Not unless we let it become a habit.

Maybe it's because there seems to be this hatred of arrogance. But isn't hypocritical modesty or worse, bad self esteem even more wrong?

There's nothing wrong with being confident in who you are and what you can do. As long as you give other people space to do what they can as well. If you're not hurting anyone, or breaking someone down in order to grow your ego, there's nothing wrong with believing yourself.

On the contrary, if you believe in yourself, other people will believe in you too. And then they'll be more willing to support you in your efforts. And they'll give you a chance at your dreams. Because if you use your talents and let people see you using them, odds are that you won't squander your opportunities either.

So be willing to stand out. And for heaven's sake, if someone says you look good today, say "thank you" and use that as a building block to your self-confidence.

Do you try to hide your talents from people? Do you hide behind modesty? Ever wonder why?

21 Days

This is not an A to Z Challenge post. :-) 

It is, however, a post about something in my life that is very important to me. Prayer. 

I believe that God wants to give us what we need. That much I know. Still, there's more to prayer than asking for things. It's about building a relationship with God. 

In other words, it's about talking AND listening. 

Still, I admit that I've come to struggle with prayer. Not out of lack of faith or lack of things to pray for. 

Instead, my problem is a lack of time. I'm literally waking up hours before the sun just so that I can both write and keep my family happy and work. At night, I write or edit some more, if there's not some activity that requires attention. 

This isn't an excuse I've been making. It's just the truth. But when I did the J-post, I started realizing that my priorities have gotten a bit out of order. GOD first. Then everything else. 

So my problem wasn't lack of time. It was with making time. 

Which is why the service I attended tonight really got me interested. It's called the 21 Day Challenge. The goal: making a date with God every day for twenty one days. So picking a time to devote to Him. And a place where I can give him my undivided attention. I know that my place will be outside, because I no longer have a room of my own or a place in my house where I can just be quiet. Then I need to pick something to pray about for 21 days. One thing. 

So I decided to start taking daily walks. Some of the best times I had with God was while I was in motion, so I'm hoping that it will be like that again. I'm thinking to devote thirty to sixty minutes after work, because my mornings and nights are crazy. And I decided to pray about God's promise for my life and future. 

I'm thinking once this challenge is done, I'll start another one and pray for something else. 

So starting tomorrow, I'll be taking walks with God. 

Will you like to join me in the challenge? Where will you go? What will you be praying for? 

A to Z Challenge: Keep Moving

Sometimes, things just go wrong.

No matter how well we plan, we can't foresee everything. So things happen. Sometimes, you won't be able to perform as well as you wanted to. Otherwise, things happen that completely derail you.

Still... does those things kill your dreams? Only if you want them to. Or if you let them. Either way, the choice of keeping your dreams and goals alive rest with you.

When something sets me back, be it serious or relatively minor, I sit back, and take a deep breath. Then I take stock.

Does it affect me? How much? How?

Does it affect my dreams/goals? How much? How?

Will it affect how far I'm along on the road to my dreams/goals? How much? How?

Can I get back to where I was? Do I want to be where I was? What does that mean for me and my life, as well as those who depend on me?

Armed with these answers, I can decide what to do next - what I will do to start moving again. Even if it changed my dream, I redefine it and my goals and move towards that.

Because the one thing no one should want is to get mired in a place that gets them nowhere.

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So has something ever set you back so far that you felt completely overwhelmed? Did you give up? If not, what did you have to do to keep going? If you did and want to start again, what do you need to do?

A to Z Challenge: I can

When you're in the process of taking charge of your life, it's so important to believe in yourself and the talents you've been given.

To me, this is so important that if this was anything other than an alphabetic challenge, I would have done this one and G-day's post first.

But since this is the A to Z Challenge, today is the day that I get to give you some excellent news:

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You CAN lose weight.
You CAN make more time to do the things you love.
You CAN go take lessons or learn something new.

I don't think positive thinking is the key to success. Not if thinking is all you do. But I promise you that negative thinking is the number one cause of failure, because telling yourself "I can't" stops you from trying.

Want to give it a shot?

When there's something I want to change, say, cutting refined sugars out of my diet, I set a goal. But instead of making it something daunting like "I will never eat chocolate again." and setting myself up to fail, I set a goal that's actually easy to manage: "Tomorrow, I am not eating any refined sugars."

Much more doable, right?

And that's where the difference comes in. It's easy, so when tomorrow comes, DO IT. And at the end of the day, say you'll do it again tomorrow. And keep going for as long as it takes.

If you do miss a day, it's not the end of the world. Even if it's day 1. The point is that you've started. Find the reason why you failed and make the changes needed to achieve the goal tomorrow.

Always remember that you can achieve your goals. One day at a time. You'll be amazed at the will-power you'll discover then.

Don't change your mind, change your thinking. ;-)

So is there a goal you've been wanting to set but haven't? Is it one you gave up on because your own thinking handicapped you from the start? Want to join me in setting one goal?

Tomorrow, I am cutting excess carbohydrates out of my food.

What will you be doing?

A to Z Challenge: Dedication

Picture by Iker Ender

I found that the moment I decided going after my dreams, I got this intense desire to be there. To be done. To be living the life I want. To be successful at it.

But that's not how it is. Taking full charge of your life and living your dreams is a journey. One that will go on forever. And not only that, it's damnably hard.

Makes sense. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it.

Still, there's nothing more joy inspiring than knowing that you're actively working towards something you've dreamed of your whole life.

Be warned, though, it takes more than passion and love to stick out the challenge (although the two of them make it easier).

It takes dedication.

Yesterday I mentioned how my first step on my journey to my dreams was battled all the way. I also mentioned that there are people vested in making sure you give up.

I call them dream-eaters. They take many shapes and sizes, and can come at you from everywhere. But the sad thing is, they usually come in the form of people you'd expect support from. Family. Friends. Colleagues.  Basically anyone who know you very well and should know what your heart is beating for.

Of course, there are people we only talked to for five minutes as well, but they're easy to dismiss.

Family... not so much.

The worst is that most of them think they're destroying our dreams out of love. Have you ever heard: "I'm only saying this to protect you." or "You know, that is nearly an impossible place to get into. Maybe you should try something similar, but different." or "You know... one day, real life will catch up and you'll find yourself making the same decision I did."

If you take a close look at those statements, you'll pick up something that seriously makes it easier to keep going without them. (Because yes... until your efforts starts bearing fruits, you will need to.)

Nothing they're saying reflects on your abilities or talents. Those words are self-justification. They're thinking about what they would have liked to have done and reminding themselves of why they didn't.

It has nothing to do with you. Listen closely, though, because a lot of them will actually have some good bits of advice that you can use on your journey. Just don't let their words stop you.

There might be a point where you want to stop. But let it be on YOUR terms. Not theirs.

Have you ever had a big dream, only to be disheartened when a loved one shot it down? Have you been a dream-eater recently without realizing it?

A to Z Challenge: Be Bold

Photo by Bl4d3RuNr

So after realizing that I could only get myself out of the hole I'd dug myself into if I followed God's plan, I started praying for guidance. This time, I changed my way of thinking about my dreams.

See, before I'd thought they were just girlish fantasies, but after hitting rock bottom, I realized that those were the only passions that stayed with me my whole life.

I realized that I couldn't just hide my dreams and try to dismiss them. I needed them in order to live a life that I'm happy with.

And let's face it all of us wants to maximize our happiness.

It was time for me to decide on my dreams. What did I want? And what did God want for me to do?

Here's the thing though. One of my good friends had recently said something very true and very important:

If you think small, you're limiting the scope of God's grace. 

So I decided to think big and to be bold. Because God didn't ever intend for me to fade into the background. 

What about you? That dream that you have lurking in the back of your mind, if you open it without trying to put limits on it, what would it be? 

A bit of news

I know that this isn't technically Wednesday. In fact, it isn't even remotely Wednesday.

But I did something late yesterday that I thought needs a post. Especially since it involves one of my goals for 2012.

I booked an audition.

On Sunday I am going to try out for a leading role for a local theatre production. It's not a massive production, but I have to start somewhere. And starting as soon as I have a chance is a good way to go. Because I know I have a lot to learn and that I need to gain experience.

But yeah... I'm quite excited about this. Now I just need to find a monologue or poem that I can read for them. Any suggestions?

A new challenge

I've been having a bit of hectic time yesterday, with the business that I co-own taking off. As a result, I'll have to start pulling something resembling office hours, which is something I'm looking forward to. Still, getting used to the new way of things takes a while. I'm actually going to have to start scheduling things way ahead of time so that I can get everything done.

After all, I can't let my dreams settle by the side of the road just because. No... this is a new challenge, and I will succeed at it too. Because this business will one day be mine, so I have a bit of a vested interest.

My only (mild) concern is fitting in everything once my dreams start coming to fruition. But there will be a way. I know that God will provide it.

On finally getting my Degree.

I finally have it. After two months, I finally got my B.Comm Degree.

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It was actually quite sad for me to go fetch the degree, since I had to go wait for my family to finish another engagement. So as I sat in the student center, eating probably my last DCM Bar-One Mighty Muffin, I got to recollect all the time I'd spent on campus.

Although I can't say I'm bitter, I feel a little wistful when I think back. Because although I loved certain aspects of my life as a student, more or less half the time I'd spent studying was less than wonderful, because I'd effectively been trapped into doing something that I steadily grew to hate. Twice.

Still, I know that I had some wonderful times and that I'll miss my time as a student and that God had His reasons for letting me go through the tough times.

So I was sad to say farewell to my campus. Its sensations, sights, tastes, sounds and smells. Things that make up part of what used to be my home.

As I left, I thought I might one day return (there's a linguistics degree that might have my name on it), but it wouldn't be the same. I'll never again look around in class, excited and a little disbelieving that I'm there.

On the other hand, I now have the piece of paper that proves that I stuck through more than my fair share of sometimes hellish years. And I have the rest of my life stretching out in front of me.

And I am determined that I will follow my dreams and become what I want. Never again will I let people form my identity unless it's on my terms.

So here I am, in my bedroom, staring into my future, grateful to God and my family, excited, and a little disbelieving that I'm  here.

On my future and living in the present

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land. There is no other land, there is no other life but this.”
Henry David Thoreau

I love this quote. When I read it somewhere (can't remember where), I couldn't help but think that it's the perfect quote for me for this year. 

Because I worry. Really. Fear starts to creep into every aspect of my life because this year is the year that I have to back everything I've said with actions. 

Even though this is an exciting prospect, there's a part of me that's asking me one big question: What if I fail? 

What if I query my book and can't find a single agent that likes it?

What if no one wants to give me a chance to perform. 

On and on and on. 

My fear of failure is almost enough to keep my right where I am. Thinking about the future and wishing for opportunities, but too afraid to go looking for them. 

But Mr. Thoreau's quote helped me to realize that there's an aspect to living in the present beyond getting over worry and letting go of your past. 

Living in the present is about deciding what you want to do in the future and actively going after it with everything you have. It's about finding a dream that's so important to you that there isn't a single setback that will make you stop going after it. 

It's about challenging yourself to live the life you want, knowing that one day, you will be old and have to look back on your life. What do you want to say? That you got by with what you had? Or that you lived your life to the fullest and used what you had to achieve more than others expected you to? More than you even expected of yourself? 

So that's what I'm going to do this year. I'm going to launch myself on every wave and find my future in everything I do right now. Because I'm going to learn everything I can in this life before I go to the next one. 

What about you? Are you preparing to launch yourself against something you fear? 

Looking at 2011

Since this is the last Friday of 2011, I thought today would be fitting for me to look at my recap of the year. 

All in all, I think it went well. Even though I didn't get to all my New Year's guidelines, I thought I could take stop by copy pasting that portion of my very first TCoML post. My comments are in red. 



I want to finish my first rewrite of Doorways by the end of April or the middle of May. 
Done. On 25 April.

I want to do this while working. 
I did that. 

Good to know I at least managed my first two guidelines. I usually don't get that far. 

I want to be back to fluency in French. 
Cough cough. Not yet. Really should start working on that. 

Cough cough HACK cough. 

I want to revise and study Mandarin. 
Same here. Picking up French will be much easier. 

Hack hack cough cough. 

I want to speak Italian at at least a moderate level by next January. 
Probably should start this first, as I don't speak any Italian. At all. 

Uhm... yeah... seems 2011 was a linguistically challenged one. 

I want to have written at least half of Guardian by December, but this is of lower Priority, since...
Good goal, this. I just need to find the character again. And her voice. And her story. I haven't touched Guardian since January.

Never did get to this, but I did finish another book and do half of a third, so I'm not too fussed. Thankfully, only the rewrite to the former was lost permanently. 

I want to start querying Doorways by next year. 

I'm planning to start edits in May, which might make writing Guardian a bit more difficult. 

Optimism. Sheer optimism. 

I want to get back to stabbing people for fun. (For those of you that don't know. I'm not completely psycho. I fence.)
Really still want to do this. But this time slot was taken up by singing. Singing might become something serious, like... a ticket to the stage. 

And so it was. 

I want to be back on my healthy lifestyle by the beginning of February. 
Failed miserably at this. Only getting to it now. 

I did get the hang of it around October. 

I want to stay on that lifestyle indefinitely. Or at least until December. ;-P
Let's get to the lifestyle first. 

It lasted until Christmas. Hey! I'm new to the lifestyle thing. 

I want to finish my degree and get completely out of the previous phase of my life, since this year will pretty much be spent in limbo. 
Amen.

And Hallelujah!

I want to make a stronger commitment to God. 
Amen.

I do think my commitment is stronger, even if it was a lot harder work than before. Maybe God made my life a little more complicated so that I could cling to Him more. 

I might or might not want to read the complete works of Shakespeare... 
I might want to start reading again. Period. 

And I did, but still no Shakespeare. 

It's interesting to look at my goals like this, because it does pretty well to show what I achieved in 2011. Maybe it was a small portion of what I wanted to do, but what I did achieve was important to where my life is headed. The time of those things that I didn't succeed in was spent on other very important events. Such as my singing, so I won't complain. 

I'm going to do next year's goals on MFB, so if you're interested, please go check it out and let me know what you think. 

Now, let me just say: Thank you one and all for coming to TCoML and supporting me on this my first year of the rest of my life. I truly appreciated your love, advice, sympathy and support through the best and worst times of the year. I pray that God will bless every single one of you and that you will find as much meaning in 2012 as I did in this year. 

Stay safe and I'll see you in the New Year! 

Something I realized about my Dream yesterday

Yesterday I worked as an extra again, this time for a movie. I'm really glad I did, because it made me realize something. Yes, I love drama and performing, but not for film.

From where I sat, there was something cold and clinical to the way that films are created, with scenes filmed according to where they happen, as puzzle pieces to the story. And then they do it again and again until they're just right.

As much as I love watching movies, I can't see myself making them. I love the warmth of living the characters for a time. The spontaneity of knowing that whatever happens on the stage will be seen and be seen immediately. I missed the energy that comes from  the audience.

So yeah. I'm not going to be aiming to get on t.v. If it's ever offered to me, I'll think about it, but it won't be what I'm hoping to achieve.

Got any interesting realizations about your life?