Monday, September 10, 2012



I'm at a strange point in my life. It's about a year after I finished university, it feels like I'm really hitting the transition phase. You know the one?

All my friends as getting married or are having babies. Most of us are drifting away from each other. And it's sad. For the past five or so years, I relied on them, laughed with them, cried with them. We were there for each other...

But every day I realize more and more that, although we'll stay friends and I'll have great memories to cherish, the season on most of my friendships is now autumn. Maybe some of them will make it back to spring soon, but I think most of them won't.

It's just that... well... we're spread over the world, doing our own things. Living our lives. Without each other. Making friends to fill the gaps left by our friends of old.

I guess that's why I'm feeling this change so keenly. For the most part of last year, a large part of my life went on hold to build the business I now work for. My social life suffered for it and I didn't meet new people my age. Now it's different. I can afford a life again. And with it came an opportunity to start making new friends. But in the mean time, there's this gap that I'm still having to fill.

It'll happen. But in the mean time, I'm having to spend more time either working on growing new friendships or alone. There's no time where I can be just in between with someone. And it makes me quite lonely.

Still... there are many opportunities as I get more involved with my church and my community.

But that's not the only thing that's changing in my life. My professional life is going from strength to strength, but my music is suffering a little because of a lack of time. But at the same time, my work gave me a frame around which I could stretch my time to finish edits. And yes. They're done. I have a finished manuscript. So all in all, not bad. But this is the time when I have to let my manuscript loose on the world. It's when I have to focus my work more in an attempt to be even more successful. It's when I have to look at my art. At what I want to write next.

All this is so At the same time, it's a little scary, because transition means something else. I get to shift priorities again. Do I change my goals? Set new ones? Do I decide to spend more time on friends or less on art? Or do I find friends (somehow) who understand my passions?

This is also the moment when I take stock. What's worth it? What's not? Because before I do that, I can't decide where to go in the future. Granted, I'm pretty sure I'm happy with the way things are going so I might not change much at all...

Anyone else reaching a transition in your life?


Julieann Couture said...

You're not alone. Since I married my husband six years ago, various aspects of my life have been somewhat stuck in transition. I've also grown apart from my old friends, a thousand miles can be a bit hindering after all :P, and I've not made any new ones yet. I'm just very fortunate that I live in a very creative family. My father in law is also an aspiring writer, so we get to mull over our woes together, bounce ideas off one another, or give one another a good knock upside the head when needed. Maybe there are some art classes or groups in your area that you could meet some new friends at and kill two birds with one stone?

Joy said...

Yes, yes, and yes to finding myself in a transition such as yours. I wish us both wisdom and peace.

Marjorie Romeyn said...

Many of my classmates and family members are getting married and having babies, too. It's strange. I feel like I'm behind, or that there was a memo going around that I missed, but I trust that I'm going to be fine. I'm on His schedule, not mine.