A change in perspective...

I was staring at this blank page for a moment when an interesting thing occurred to me.

I mentioned in April or March that I realized that I was stuck in a rut. And at the same time, I spent a nice amount of time before that complaining on both this and my writing blog that I've been struggling to get things done. 

It felt at the time like I was spinning my wheels with no real hope of getting anywhere. 

Once I started working on getting out of my rut, I started moving. Yep. Doing other things like meeting new people, driving around, reading etc. all helped me get through my edits, and much faster than I thought possible. 

I did a huge revision to my book, and it didn't take me a month to finish, and the book is 300 pages long. 

So how is it possible that I finished my revisions faster by not focusing on them? 

Well. The book I needed to revise is The Heir's Choice. And if you've kept track of my going's on since about December, you'll know that I was supposed to edit this book last year already. Except things went south with my publisher. 

The thing is that my emotions and thoughts came so entangled in the souring relationship with my publisher that no matter how long I focused on editing, no editing could be done. Not for as long as my concentration kept going to the crap going on around the book.  

The lucky thing for me was that I spotted that I was in a rut around the same time as I got the rights to my book back from my publisher. 

Once I decided to get out the rut, I could change my perspective. 

I'd been looking at the bad stuff associated with the book so much that I couldn't even think of making the book itself better. It took me doing all sorts of other things in order to pull back enough and see the good things as well. 

And when I did, I could actually function the way I'm supposed to. 

So if you're stuck and can't seem to do what you know you should, maybe all you need to do is do something new instead. Just to get that much needed change in perspective. 

Anyone else find that doing completely unrelated things helps you do things you're struggling with?

Oh yeah! Before I go:

Weight: 91.5kg (201lb 11.6oz)
Total lost: 14.2kg (31lb 4.9oz)
BMI: 31.66

How I'm doing...

So I thought I should mention how I'm doing with regards to escaping the rut I recently discovered myself to be in.

Basically, it's going well. I'm getting out more, and meeting some lovely people at a church group I joined. I'm starting to get back into reading, which basically stopped at the beginning of the year when things went pear-shaped.

I'm probably going to start painting this weekend if the light's okay. (It's very dark at the moment because of the rain.)

I'm hopefully going to find a new vocal coach so that I can continue my singing education.

The wonderful thing about all of this is that it's actually helping me recover from earlier this year much faster. I'd thought at the time that resting and not exposing myself to more exhaustion or stress would be the better way to get through the difficult time I had with my publisher. But the truth is, I'm only now starting to feel like I'm moving on, and I think most of it is because of me getting out there and seeing new places, exploring new foods (no carbs, which means I actually have a lot more energy) and doing things I love that I haven't gotten to in months.

So here's to doing more of those and having a fuller life.

Anyone else working on escaping a rut you're in? How's it going?

Where did this rut come from?!

It's a sad truth in my life that I pretty much always lack balance. 

Right now, my life is actually so badly out of whack that my family's starting to worry. Or... they're starting to worry out loud. It's a good thing that they do, though, because that brings it to my attention. 

Because the thing with my balance issues is that it's rarely ever a big thing that tips me to one side or the other. It starts small, but grows until I look around me, struggling to understand why I've let things go so far. 

That's where I am. I mean, my life's good. It's comfortable... I'm in a routine and things are going, even if they don't go as smoothly as expected. 

But it took a long conversation last night to realize that I've somehow managed to let all aspects to my life except for the farm and my writing dwindle to next to nothing. 

And that just isn't healthy. 

In fact, as much as I love the farm and writing, it's not even living. 

So I need to get back into the living habit once more. 

1) Moving around more (yay exercise to help budge weight)

2) Connecting more with God, family, friends and even new acquaintances.

3) Getting out more, even if it's just to write in a new location. 

4) Changing up my activities. I have so many things I love to do, but just don't make time for. Now's when I start making time. 

It might sound strange, but life's just not all it could be when we're stuck in ruts. Luckily, changing things up is only as easy as changing up a bit. That's exactly what I'm going to do. 

Because I don't just want to write and work on a farm. I want to live. 

Anyone else feeling stuck in a rut? What do you need to do to escape yours? 

A quick update

It's actually nice to be back at work again.

Although it's fun to be lazy, work just brings balance to my life. Odd to think about it, but I found that while I was immersing myself in all my artistic activities, I missed work.

Anyway, today is the first day where I get to apply some of the activities I want to do in order to achieve this year's goals. So eating healthier (and less) and exercising more.

Hopefully I'll be able to resume with my singing instruction soon.

Otherwise, I'm busy getting ready to send out another round of queries.

But yeah, otherwise, things are still pretty boring, so I'm just going to sign off for today.

How are you doing?

How I did in 2012

Hi all! We've all come to the end of another year. Overall, 2012 was a really good one for me and my family. We were so blessed. For that, I just want to thank God and ask that the blessings keep on coming. 

In the mean time, here's one last look at how I did this year with my goals. If you want to know my goals for 2013, you'll need to go to MFB. 

Writing:

I want to finish Doorways before 30 June. 

Finished, but a bit late. 

I will query Doorways on 1 July.
Queried, but closer to September because of the above. 

I want to finish the WiP2 rewrite by 30 September.
I decided not to, since I no longer felt a spark. 

I want to finish the Don't Look Back draft by 31 December.
I finished it, although the ending left me dissatisfied. Luckily, I managed to work out what went wrong and what I want to do for the rewrite. 

I want to finish at least one draft of the musical libretto by 31 December.
This one was unrealistic from the start. Both me and my writing partner got stuck in other projects and activities. 

I might want to look at Guardian again.
This I did. It's currently an active draft. 

Reading:

I want to read more (crit partners' manuscripts don't count).
I think I read more than last year. 

I want to read Shakespeare, Austen and Martin.
No Shakespeare or Martin, but I read most of Austen. I only have Emma left.

Life:

Auditions, auditions, auditions. 

Went to one acting audition in the area. Musical ones will wait until my voice settles down completely. I did, however, take part in my first concert as a soloist this year. 

I want to master at least intermediate cooking.
I'd like to think I managed this one. 

I want to spend more time designing.
This is one of a few activities that I didn't get time for. 

I want to brush up on my French and Mandarin (at least one of the two) and take another language.
This was another.

I want to take classes in a musical instrument. Either piano or guitar.
I started taking guitar. Stopped when the year grew too busy, but I might continue next year, especially now that I don't have as many activities on weeknights. 

I also want to get out more next year. Cabin fever never did suit me.
This I did, sometimes to my detriment. 

Since I achieved four goals in 2011, I want to achieve six in 2012.

Achieved eight, six of which were unconditional. :-D

Yay! It's a great feeling to see how much I got done. 

How did you do? 

So much for the regular schedule

Ah... I knew I forgot something.

It niggled and nagged and niggled again at the back of my mind. But I just couldn't remember what it was I'd forgotten.

Then suddenly, out of the blue, I realized I haven't checked in in days.

Life got a lot busier than I thought, once my family arrived for Christmas. So much so, that it blew my painting plans right out of the water.

Fortunately, I have a very understanding granny.

So yeah. No picture of the painting yet.

I do have pictures of the tree, still, but since it's the day after Christmas already, I don't know if I should bother to put it up.

What's your opinion?

Time's a running out.

I'm still busy with my painting for my grandmother, but I get the feeling I might not finish it in time.

The reason? I got myself stuck in a conundrum. I have 6 days to Christmas and not too much left to do to finish the painting.

What I do have, however, is a ton of detail work. Glints on the ocean. Sunset clouds. A blue haze. Rounding light houses. The figures' hair and detail to their clothes. One of which has a spotty shirt. The rocks need to be highlighted. Sand needs to be added. And a mountain has to be etched in.

Point is, I'm terrified that if I rush, I'll make a mess of it.

So I don't know if I can do it in the next 6 days. Especially when I consider that my guests start arriving tonight.

Oh yeah... and I still have gifts to wrap today.

Siiiiiigh.

Have you ever started a painting MONTHS ahead of schedule, only to run out of time because you got scared of the detail in the end? How did you overcome your fear?

A brief look into my mind at the moment.

Sorry for being so quiet. Just in a deeply contemplative mood as I'm winding up my year.

Yeah... can't even really write about it yet, because all my thoughts are running together and splintering in completely random ways.

No idea why. Maybe it's just the fact that it's Friday? And that I spent the past few days creating a calculator for air freights. If that sounds simple, I have three words for you. Compound. IF. Functions.

Still, now I have the calculator working like it's supposed to, so I'll never have to calculate air freight by hand. If you're thinking I'm wasting time, I don't think you ever tried to ship bulk by air. It's a pain in the ass to work out how much it costs.

So at least now, I just have to plug some numbers into a few blocks.

Singing-wise, I'm looking forward to the final practice on Tuesday. Who knows? Maybe the annoying church soprano's will push me far enough for me to give them a little dose of perspective. I only got to that point last week already.

Church service-wise, I now stopped the smallgroup I had until the new year, when I'll decide if I'll continue or not. Reasons for this are many, but mainly, I'm getting a lot of guests in December, and there's this one person who literally had 4 people saying that they won't return if she does. And honestly, I'm tired.

Oh yeah, speaking of which. If you're really really exhausted, but your B vits and iron looks normal, you might to check out your magnesium levels. Low magnesium is at the heart of many issues. Including sleep problems. Insomnia is listed often. I get night terrors. Until the night before last, I've woken up at least once every night, terrified, for the past three weeks.

It literally got to a point where I burst out crying about nothing. As in. Nothing. No one said anything. Nothing happened. I just suddenly started and couldn't stop. Why? I was exhausted. Things are starting to get better, though. Which is great.

And on top of that, I want to instate some health goals for next week. I've been wanting to exercise for weeks now, but never felt up to it. This needs to stop. So I'll be spending this weekend thinking about them and sharing them with you tomorrow.

But yeah. That's my life at this stage. What's going on in yours? Who's finished their Christmas shopping? (I haven't even started.)

Stretch and release

I decided to finish up with NaNoWriMo, this time with another story. Still, I'm taking things slower and not pushing myself so hard. 

It's just not always so good for me. 

Yes, there's a commitment to getting things like writing done, but I just can't see how it's good to push myself too hard. 

I mean, there is a definite advantage to pushing limits. We learn a lot about ourselves by doing it. But once you cross the limit of what you're capable of, it's not wise to go too far too fast. 

Why? Well... I think about it the same way as I think about stretching my muscles. Stretching is good. Really good. It works best by stretching a little further every time you stretch, but not beyond that point. 

If I stretch too much too soon, I'm actually damaging the muscles I'm trying to strengthen. 

It's the same with life. It's not good to go through life without testing yourself and stretching your abilities. At the same time, it's not good to go too far too fast, because you might actually do more harm than good. 

That's what I seem to be doing now. I've been stretching myself out for a while, now it's time for a rest. So I'm pulling back from every non-essential activity I'm involved with. 

I'm quitting choir singing because it's not good for my voice. Also, it puts too much of a strain on my patience .

I'm backing away from involvement in church activities because it's stretching me and my faith too fast and too hard. This was of course, done with a lot of prayer, but God seems to be with me on this one. So I'm going to try and focus on learning more again. 

I'm not buying more orchids until I'm absolutely positive that the ones I have are doing well. 

I stretched my writing skills and determination and wrote a draft manuscript in 16 days. Now I know I can do it, but it makes me tired. Still, I'm continuing to write, but in a sense, as a warm-down to my intense stretching session. 

Luckily December will give me a break from all of my stretching activities. Then I get to do the exercise again and stretch in wonderfully novel ways. 

Do you also make a point of stretching in your life? Do you make sure you don't go too far too fast? What have you been up to, lately? 

Stepping back and being happy.

Hi all! I'm back from editing again. I'll take another day before dropping by and commenting, but in the meantime, I thought the blog needed some love. 

It's really amazing how easily discontent inches into our lives and takes it over. Sad thing is, often the very things you were excited about when you started them make you unhappy now.

Maybe the better word is unhappier. 

I'm still a happy person, but lately I've been having to work harder and harder to stay that way. It's not the way I want to live my life. 

Still, I felt like the things I'd volunteered for had become responsibilities. They became chores. Worse, they became tiresome chores. 

For me, 90% of my church activities are that way. Despite my initial optimism about the new youth pastor, things are returning to more of the same. Same with the choir. I quit it a year ago, but people begged me to return, saying things will change. It didn't. 

I've tried to change. I tried to look to myself and try to fix things through the way I react. But I can't stop the church choir sopranos from bitching and griping about me without becoming a worse singer I can. I can't do anything about the youth pastor NOT EVEN RESPONDING to submissions and suggestions I made. If people listen, I can't make them HEAR. I can't make the band leader realize that two griping teenage girls with maybe an eight note range between them doesn't make it a good idea to push me (plus superior skill, training and range) out of the band. 

I volunteered because they couldn't lead the youth in praise. I volunteered for youth because at the time, God wanted me to. I volunteered for choir because I love singing and because young voices lift the sound up. 

But if no one wants me there, why should I continue to put in hours on hours of unpaid time to no effect?  Seems I'm doing no one a favor. Not even myself. 

All I'm doing is tiring myself out without seeing any fruits of my labors. And damn it. Although I don't expect it, getting ONE freaking thank you would have been lovely. Then I would have known I at least helped. But need it or not, I've been wasting my time on people who don't want it. 

That is going to stop. I already quit the choir. Staying until the end of the year to help out the choir master (who does want me there). I'm quitting the youth tomorrow morning as soon as I've spoken to my friends in the leadership. 

Then I'm going to regroup and go back to moving between churches, learning what I can and just building my faith. 

This probably won't be forever, but right now, I need to rest. Then I'll look at it again. 

But I am NOT wasting my time a single second more. 

I. Am. Done. 

And you know what? I haven't felt this free or happy in ages.

Have you ever quit things you volunteered for because they made you unhappy?

Efficiency: Too much of a good thing?

This definitely isn't what I was going to write about, but now I'm thinking.

Is there something like being too efficient?

See... I realized that I need to stretch my writing. So to do that, I entered my first writing competition in about a year. Except I have no inspiration.

All of my focus went into writing Doorways, which is why I want to stretch in the first place. But now I realize it isn't my only problem. I'm so focused on getting things done. On having something to show for what I've done, that I forget to take a minute and just breathe.

And that is quite damaging to my inspiration. My story ideas come from everywhere. Riding in a car and letting my thoughts wander. Going somewhere new. Trying something new.

Watching t.v.

Reading.

Just sitting and doing nothing.

Where I don't get inspired: when I am in fact busy writing, stressing and focusing on doing something. Those are times I use my inspiration. Not when I generate it.

And I haven't really given my mind time to wander in a long time. So... that leaves me wondering. Should I maybe veg out in front of the t.v. every now and then? How much focusing is too much?

Committing Time to You.

All people have things they want to do. Some things are easy. Some are really hard. But often, none of those things get done. Not even the easy ones.

When that happens, people seem to spend an incredibly huge amount to explain why bad luck was at blame. Or that the circumstances aren't favorable to start right now, but later. Except that the circumstances never seem to turn.
And then they look at the (VERY) few people who do in fact do what they want and are as a whole a lot happier than the people around them. And they wish. If only they could do what they wanted. If only they had that level of success.

And on and on and on.

Sad thing is this. The differences between the people who are going after what they want and people who wish they did can probably be brought down to one thing: commitment.

If you keep procrastinating and waiting for a better day to start, you never will. Because here's the fact: there is no such thing as an ideal day. There will always be little or big things that niggle. Especially in the beginning.  

Credit

If you focus on those niggles and let them keep you from starting, what you want will never happen. Things that make us truly happy never just fall into our laps by luck. We have to go after them with everything we've got.

So if you want to paint, find a way to take art classes. Maybe the ones in your area might be too expensive. Don't start looking for a class that is in your price range. Or if you want some time to be alone, try to make some.

If you keep making the things you want to do a priority, you'll do at least some of them. And sure, kids and family responsibilities can make things harder, but as I said, doing things you want to do depends on your level of commitment.

You might not be able to do as much of what you want as you'd like, or you might not do all of it, but just the fact that you spend some time at something you're passionate about will make a difference in your life.

The way I suggest for someone to take on something important to them: Start by committing a small block of time to it and make that time a priority. I've found that when I do things that I love, I automatically make more time for the things I truly enjoy.

For me it's come to the point where I hardly ever watch t.v. because those hours of staring at the t.v. just don't give me any particular joy. Nothing that compares to the thrill of finishing a piece of writing, or the relaxation of creating something with my hands.

So yeah... if you want to take charge of your life by focusing on something you love, start small and work your way up. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

If you could do anything in your life right now, what would it be? Do you think there's a possibility that you can fit it into your life, even if it isn't in the way you would ideally do it?

Time for another Goal Review

As I mentioned the last time, I'm going to do a check-up of my goals and see how I'm faring. So.... these are my goals. Comments are in red. Comments from the previous Goal Review in black.

I want to finish Doorways before 30 June. 
Not likely, since I have to depend on Crit Partners for edits. I'm approximately halfway now. 
Definitely not happening. I'm about 2/3 of the way through, but that last third won't happen in a day. I have since moved my deadline to 31 August. 

I will query Doorways on 1 July.
Can't decide if this will happen. 
Won't happen until Doorways has been beta read. And I'm still waiting for my CPs to finish with it. 

I want to finish the WiP2 rewrite by 30 September. 
Will start in July. 
Honestly I've only been thinking of it in the quickest of ways. Still, I really want to finish this rewrite, which means that I have to start in the near future. 

I want to finish the Don't Look Back draft by 31 December. 
Not sure when I will start this, but no later than October. 
This hasn't changed.

I want to finish at least one draft of the musical libretto by 31 December.
Working on this every week, but since I had no idea of the work involved, I think this one won't make it. 
This has fallen by the wayside as well, because both me and my co-writer have been very busy since the last time I did the review. 

I might want to look at Guardian again. 
If I have time, I will. 
Still depending on whether I have time, but might not happen because I have two new WiPs in the pipeline. Not ideal, but the muse wants what the muse wants. 
Reading: 

I want to read more (crit partners' manuscripts don't count).
I'm trying to read at least one book a week. But I am definitely reading more.
Admittedly, I've been struggling with this since I started working full time. When I'm not working, I'm editing, writing, drawing, writing, blogging.... basically almost everything except reading. 

I want to read Shakespeare, Austen and Martin. 
So far, I've read two Jane Austen books. Still gathering courage for the rest of them.
Jane Austen books finished so far in this year: Northanger Abbey, Persuasion and Sense & Sensibility (yesterday). Taking a break now because she takes too much concentration. I think it's time for me to hunt down and buy my first Game of Thrones book. Or maybe I'll wait until I have my kindle. 
Life: 

Auditions, auditions, auditions. 
One audition so far. 
Was invited to another one, but none of the characters spoke to me. I'm not taking on practices if I'm not even really interested in the character I'm playing. 
I want to master at least intermediate cooking.
Let me put it this way... I'll be able to feed myself on more than bread or takeaways.
I'll definitely feed myself, although I mainly take care of breakfast, now. 

I want to spend more time designing.
Haven't even looked at my designs yet. Feeling terrible about it, but I just need to finish Doorways first.
Still the same, but I have been drawing again, which is a good start. 

I want to brush up on my French and Mandarin (at least one of the two) and take another language. 
Lacking time and money. I'll look at this again in the second half of the year. 
Not lacking the money, but time is even more scarce than before. 

I want to take classes in a musical instrument. Either piano or guitar. 
Went to my first guitar lesson last week. 
Still doing guitar, but full time work is making it difficult for me to find practice time. 

I also want to get out more next year. Cabin fever never did suit me. 
Still working on this, but I think I am getting better at getting out of the house. 
Definitely getting out more, but not as much as I'd like to. Maybe I should take my next edits with me to a restaurant or something... 

Since I achieved four goals in 2011, I want to achieve six in 2012.  
Looks like I'm on course for six. But I definitely want to try for more.
Yikes. Looks like I'll only get five done now. Still, that's better than last year. 


Have you reviewed your goals recently? How are you faring? 

Just a quick update

Today I thought I'd give you a quick update on my progress in taking charge of my life.

I'm mostly sticking to my scheduling and things are getting done. And the best part is that feeling good about this is making me even more efficient.

I'm not writing regularly at the moment because I don't seem to have anything major to write while I'm finishing the edits to Doorways. But I'm using the time I would have allotted for that to refill my creative reserves by reading and drawing.

I'm practicing guitar. I'm even exercising regularly again, which is making me feel really good. So good that I decided to tackle my weight again. So once my mother is back from the Netherlands, we're starting on the gym's suggested eating plan. It's not going to melt the fat off like some other diets do, but it's designed to keep the weight off without sentencing me to a lifetime of dieting.

And unlike certain diets that I'd followed, this one is designed to make it possible for me to continue exercising.

I'm pretty excited about that. Then I'm also planning to draw some more tonight. It will definitely be my most complex drawing to date, with lots of textures and shades, so I'll see how that turns out.

Hopefully, if I can squeeze in a bit of time, I'll do some reading as well. It's about time that I finished Sense and Sensibility.

That's me for today. What's going on in your life?

How not to freak out when scheduling

Credit

I have to admit, when I look at how much I have to get done in a day, it takes a lot of effort for me not to freak out.

I do fun things like color coding it and interspersing fun activities throughout the day, but many colors might not be a good thing when they mean that there are only an hour and a half's worth of white spaces.

Still, I decided to look at my schedule as a prison, I see it as a sort of guide. A reminder of everything I want done. If I'm tired or whatever, about 80% of those colors can go. Often times I double (or triple) book my time slots so that I can do all of them at the same time or pick one if I need to.

As long as I make the time I need for the things I need to do.

It really makes a big difference to think about my schedule like that. Instead of just becoming another source of stress, my way of looking at my schedule turns it into a useful tool.

And I'm seeing the results. Ever since I've visually represented what I need to do in my day, I've gotten more done.

Do you schedule out your day?

Change of Pace

As I mentioned last week, I went to visit my father this weekend. It did turn out to give me a change of pace that I needed.

I also drew again for the first time in months. It was little more than a sketch of a sketch by Renoir, but it was fun. So much fun, in fact, that I came home and went into an art store. Sooooo... now I have charcoal, paper, canvas, oil paints, a sketch pad and a huge itch to draw or paint something. And draw I will.

AND I am going to get my activities sorted out. If I keep complaining that nothing fits in, and that prevents me from doing things, it only means that I will get less done.

So.

I am going to fit everything in somehow. I'm pretty sure it will only take a bit more thought and some commitment. I'd taken a long period of rest. It's time that I got back in the saddle.

Will let you know how everything fits in.

What did you do over the weekend?

Goal Review

I was thinking that I'm a bit over-due on recapping my goals for 2012. I should have done it in March already, but oh well.

These are my goals, with my comments noted in red...

Writing: 

I want to finish Doorways before 30 June. 
Not likely, since I have to depend on Crit Partners for edits. I'm approximately halfway now. 

I will query Doorways on 1 July.
Can't decide if this will happen. 

I want to finish the WiP2 rewrite by 30 September. 
Will start in July. 

I want to finish the Don't Look Back draft by 31 December. 
Not sure when I will start this, but no later than October. 

I want to finish at least one draft of the musical libretto by 31 December.
Working on this every week, but since I had no idea of the work involved, I think this one won't make it. 

I might want to look at Guardian again. 
If I have time, I will. 

Reading: 

I want to read more (crit partners' manuscripts don't count).
I'm trying to read at least one book a week. But I am definitely reading more.

I want to read Shakespeare, Austen and Martin. 
So far, I've read two Jane Austen books. Still gathering courage for the rest of them.

Life: 

Auditions, auditions, auditions. 
One audition so far. 

I want to master at least intermediate cooking.
Let me put it this way... I'll be able to feed myself on more than bread or takeaways.
I want to spend more time designing.
Haven't even looked at my designs yet. Feeling terrible about it, but I just need to finish Doorways first.

I want to brush up on my French and Mandarin (at least one of the two) and take another language. 
Lacking time and money. I'll look at this again in the second half of the year. 

I want to take classes in a musical instrument. Either piano or guitar. 
Went to my first guitar lesson last week. 

I also want to get out more next year. Cabin fever never did suit me. 
Still working on this, but I think I am getting better at getting out of the house. 

Since I achieved four goals in 2011, I want to achieve six in 2012. 
Looks like I'm on course for six. But I definitely want to try for more. 

Have you recently taken a look at your goals for this year? How are you getting along?

A to Z Challenge: No

Credit

On J-Day, I mentioned and explained the importance of prioritization when it comes to taking charge of our lives.

Today, I'm continuing along that vein to that situation where we are confronted with those incredibly difficult things called time wasters.

So when I mentioned priorities, I listed the following order:

Then I pick the most important things with deadlines (in order of immediacy)

Followed by less important things with deadlines 

Then important things without deadlines.

Everything else.

So now you notice that the less than important things with deadlines are second in the row. Weird, given that they're not important, right? 

Well... why is it that people just jump into doing these stupid activities? Easy, because others ask them too, and they say yes. 

So, if you find that your priorities are messed up because you have too many time-wasters on your schedule: repeat after me. 

No. 

I'm sorry but....

Maybe at another time? 

With those three phrases mastered, you'll be able to keep your schedules open for important things. I'm not saying that you should say no to everything, but if you've been saying yes too often, No might just be your solution.

Do you struggle with saying no? If you don't, do you have any tips for those that do? 

21 Days

This is not an A to Z Challenge post. :-) 

It is, however, a post about something in my life that is very important to me. Prayer. 

I believe that God wants to give us what we need. That much I know. Still, there's more to prayer than asking for things. It's about building a relationship with God. 

In other words, it's about talking AND listening. 

Still, I admit that I've come to struggle with prayer. Not out of lack of faith or lack of things to pray for. 

Instead, my problem is a lack of time. I'm literally waking up hours before the sun just so that I can both write and keep my family happy and work. At night, I write or edit some more, if there's not some activity that requires attention. 

This isn't an excuse I've been making. It's just the truth. But when I did the J-post, I started realizing that my priorities have gotten a bit out of order. GOD first. Then everything else. 

So my problem wasn't lack of time. It was with making time. 

Which is why the service I attended tonight really got me interested. It's called the 21 Day Challenge. The goal: making a date with God every day for twenty one days. So picking a time to devote to Him. And a place where I can give him my undivided attention. I know that my place will be outside, because I no longer have a room of my own or a place in my house where I can just be quiet. Then I need to pick something to pray about for 21 days. One thing. 

So I decided to start taking daily walks. Some of the best times I had with God was while I was in motion, so I'm hoping that it will be like that again. I'm thinking to devote thirty to sixty minutes after work, because my mornings and nights are crazy. And I decided to pray about God's promise for my life and future. 

I'm thinking once this challenge is done, I'll start another one and pray for something else. 

So starting tomorrow, I'll be taking walks with God. 

Will you like to join me in the challenge? Where will you go? What will you be praying for? 

A to Z Challenge: I can

When you're in the process of taking charge of your life, it's so important to believe in yourself and the talents you've been given.

To me, this is so important that if this was anything other than an alphabetic challenge, I would have done this one and G-day's post first.

But since this is the A to Z Challenge, today is the day that I get to give you some excellent news:

Credit

You CAN lose weight.
You CAN make more time to do the things you love.
You CAN go take lessons or learn something new.

I don't think positive thinking is the key to success. Not if thinking is all you do. But I promise you that negative thinking is the number one cause of failure, because telling yourself "I can't" stops you from trying.

Want to give it a shot?

When there's something I want to change, say, cutting refined sugars out of my diet, I set a goal. But instead of making it something daunting like "I will never eat chocolate again." and setting myself up to fail, I set a goal that's actually easy to manage: "Tomorrow, I am not eating any refined sugars."

Much more doable, right?

And that's where the difference comes in. It's easy, so when tomorrow comes, DO IT. And at the end of the day, say you'll do it again tomorrow. And keep going for as long as it takes.

If you do miss a day, it's not the end of the world. Even if it's day 1. The point is that you've started. Find the reason why you failed and make the changes needed to achieve the goal tomorrow.

Always remember that you can achieve your goals. One day at a time. You'll be amazed at the will-power you'll discover then.

Don't change your mind, change your thinking. ;-)

So is there a goal you've been wanting to set but haven't? Is it one you gave up on because your own thinking handicapped you from the start? Want to join me in setting one goal?

Tomorrow, I am cutting excess carbohydrates out of my food.

What will you be doing?