A change in perspective...

I was staring at this blank page for a moment when an interesting thing occurred to me.

I mentioned in April or March that I realized that I was stuck in a rut. And at the same time, I spent a nice amount of time before that complaining on both this and my writing blog that I've been struggling to get things done. 

It felt at the time like I was spinning my wheels with no real hope of getting anywhere. 

Once I started working on getting out of my rut, I started moving. Yep. Doing other things like meeting new people, driving around, reading etc. all helped me get through my edits, and much faster than I thought possible. 

I did a huge revision to my book, and it didn't take me a month to finish, and the book is 300 pages long. 

So how is it possible that I finished my revisions faster by not focusing on them? 

Well. The book I needed to revise is The Heir's Choice. And if you've kept track of my going's on since about December, you'll know that I was supposed to edit this book last year already. Except things went south with my publisher. 

The thing is that my emotions and thoughts came so entangled in the souring relationship with my publisher that no matter how long I focused on editing, no editing could be done. Not for as long as my concentration kept going to the crap going on around the book.  

The lucky thing for me was that I spotted that I was in a rut around the same time as I got the rights to my book back from my publisher. 

Once I decided to get out the rut, I could change my perspective. 

I'd been looking at the bad stuff associated with the book so much that I couldn't even think of making the book itself better. It took me doing all sorts of other things in order to pull back enough and see the good things as well. 

And when I did, I could actually function the way I'm supposed to. 

So if you're stuck and can't seem to do what you know you should, maybe all you need to do is do something new instead. Just to get that much needed change in perspective. 

Anyone else find that doing completely unrelated things helps you do things you're struggling with?

Oh yeah! Before I go:

Weight: 91.5kg (201lb 11.6oz)
Total lost: 14.2kg (31lb 4.9oz)
BMI: 31.66

A confession

I went to a new church today after a almost a year of taking a break from the church I’d belonged to. The break had been necessitated by my becoming involved with said church’s activities. I had joined up with the youth and music ministries in good faith, thinking that I could really help and make a difference, but ended up three years later, angry and embittered because of being ignored despite the fact that the current methods being employed helped absolutely no one.

The experiences brought along by my involvement exhausted me emotionally and spiritually to the point where I withdrew from church entirely. I didn’t feel like being friendly and civil to anyone in church. I didn’t feel like doing anything for anyone, since no one there appreciated it anyway. No. Correction. No one even wanted me to do it.

So I shook the proverbial dust from my ankles and walked away.

But the damage had been done. Because although I didn’t know at the time, the experience did much more than just tire me out. It planted a seed of bitterness. Or maybe poured water and fertilizer onto it so that the bitterness could once again take root in my life and infect every aspect of it. The big thing is, though, that I'd allowed this to happen. In fact, I didn't even see it happen. 

The only reason why I do now is that I went to the new church and spoke to the pastor there. He told me that once there’s bitterness in my heart, it’ll deliver fruit according to the tree that’s there. So anger, resentment, impatience, frustration with my life and so on will all be there. They’re bringing my life to a standstill. Which actually makes things even worse. Because nothing adds to my frustration, impatience etc like not moving forward in my life.

It stops now. I’m going to address this bitterness with prayer. I’ve forgiven the people who’ve embittered me, but I know I’ll need to do it again and again and again. For as long and as often as it needs to be done until this anger and resentment I have is rooted out of my heart and get replaced by something healing.

I know it won’t be easy, because it’s been a fall back position to me for so long. But I have to start. And by the grace of God, I know I’ll succeed with His help. 

Do you have bitterness rooted in your heart? Do you want to get rid of it?

A to Z Challenge: Blame

As I mentioned yesterday, contentment is like quicksand, sucking you down and keeping you from living the life you're supposed to. 

Now, going on with the quicksand idea. Let's say you're in quicksand. Let's say there's a rope connected to a tree, lying well within reach and you could (with some effort, granted) pull yourself out. 

What do you do? 

Well. Most people I talk to make themselves comfortable and start blaming others for getting them into the quicksand in the first place. Or for not picking them out of it. Or they blame the quicksand for keeping them stuck. 

The rope, their way out, goes unnoticed and unwanted. Because, hell, getting out on our own is just too much effort. 

Now is it me, or does this way of thinking sound absolutely insane? 

I mean, people are so fast to blame God for not giving them the miracle needed to escape. They absolutely refuse to acknowledge that the rope that they can save themselves with is in fact that miracle. Where else would it have come from? 

I'm going to share two harsh truths with you that I had to learn a few years ago. 

Your circumstances are your choice. 

and

No one else is going to save yourself from them.

Right about now, I figure some of you stopped reading. But if you're with me, think about it for a moment. 

If you're not happy, but don't do something to address the problem, you made a choice to do nothing. And if that's the method you've been using so far, how has it been working out for you? 

Fact is, I know there are some people who are drowning in situations beyond their control. People stuck in the lowest lows of poverty. People with special needs. And even then, there are some who do everything in their power to rise above their circumstances. 

And you, wonderful person reading this post, probably have it a LOT easier. 

The only person who's to blame for where you are is you. And you're the only one who's going to get you out onto safe ground. And yes, it'll be incredibly hard. I'm not saying it's a walk in the park. But one thing I promise you. Once you start wanting to move, God will help you to move. 

So for heaven's sake! Do yourself a favor and do something. Challenge yourself to do something you've always wanted to do, but couldn't whatever reason you had while blaming someone or someone else. That's your rope. 

That's going to be how you free yourself from your circumstances. 

Prayer

Lord, 

I realize now that I've made a serious mistake. I've been blaming everyone and everything around me for not living the life You intended for me. Even You. 

Even though (name the person/thing that landed you in this situation, if applicable) brought me into this situation, I now know that I'm responsible for staying here so long. Me. No one else. 

Forgive me, Lord, for blaming You.

Please guide me. Help me to recognize what it is You want me to do. And please, Lord, give me the strength to do it. 

I pray this in Jesus's name, 

Amen.