Wednesday, April 3, 2013

A to Z Challenge: Choices

Being in charge of your life means that you're going to have to start making choices. Difficult choices, sometimes. 

The first one would be to change your circumstances. 

As some of you mentioned, circumstances are hard to change, because it affects other people. And, like Julie pointed out yesterday, a lot of times, you're in a situation because of good-natured (if naive) choices you'd made before

And here's the thing. You can't undo your choices. Even if you do get to a point where you were earlier in your life, say... by divorcing your spouse, you won't be the same person you were before. You've changed

So no. Taking charge isn't about getting back to a point of being happy. It's about moving forward. It's about growing as a person. That's what brings you happiness. 

But the choices to move forward have as many forms as people have different lives. Not choosing is never a good option. It just shoves you back into living a stagnant life. One where you have to passively deal with what life throws at you. Instead of taking big chunks of life and actually living. 

Still, I know that some choices are really hard, so I'm going to share with you a way of thinking you might want to try. Of course, the better idea is to do it with a lot of prayer. 

First: you need to think of yourself. And no. Not in a selfish way. It's just that up to now, you probably got into this situation because you made decision based on what other people wanted. This is a broad assumption, I know. But it's something I've noticed about us. Those good natured choices we made are good natured because they're to please someone else. 

If we make choices for ourselves, they're just choices. Big ones or not. 

Back to making a choice. 

Think of yourself. What do you stand to gain from this? What do you risk losing? Any advantages or disadvantages? This doesn't have to be financial. In fact. Finances should actually come in low on your list for doing anything. 

Then (and this is important): Think of who your decisions will affect. Your spouse? Children? Friends? How will your choice really affect them? 

By "really", I mean this. Back to the example of divorcing your spouse. You have children. And up to now, you've postponed this decision because you want to keep the family together. Looking at how this will affect children, the first thing you would say is: but I can't break up the family. 

And yet... if your husband is abusive to that child. Or to you, for that matter. It affects the child's wife in a negative way. Much more so than breaking both of you out. 

Basically, that's how difficult decisions are made. By weighing the positives and negatives for all involved - including you.

Prayer


Lord, 

I want to escape this difficult situation I'm in. I know I can't live my life to the full without doing this. But Lord, I don't know how. 

So many people can be hurt by this choice I want to make, so I want to make the right one. 

What is Your will, Lord? 

Please guide me in making this choice and give me the strength needed to follow through. 

In Jesus's name I pray, 

Amen.


23 comments:

Mary Aalgaard said...

Beautiful prayer and message, Misha. I pray that the people who really need to read it find it today. I'll tweet it and send love and light into the world. Whoever reads this, may you be the strong person to break the cycle of abuse. You can do it. God wants you to be strong.
Thanks.
(love your blog background)
Play off the Page

Megan said...

Your blog has now become like a daily devotion to me. Thank you so much for sharing this.

Tracy Jo said...

Very beautiful and so true, Misha. When I started making choices for myself and not others....my life got much better. Sending you peace.

Claudia Moser said...

You do develop the theme in a nicely way!

Joy said...

Great post. It's true that if we don't make our own choices, they get made for us.

Erin Shakespear said...

You're right, it's really important to think about how our choices will really and truly affect ourself and those in our lives.

Great post, Misha!

Jarm Del Boccio said...

In this day and age, there are so many choices. That's why I'm so glad I can ask The Lord for wisdom as I make them. Thanks for stopping by my blog, Misha, and happy A to Z!


MakingtheWriteConnections

Sandy Campbell said...

I truly enjoy your writings, and joined both of your blogs,twitter....and I am not always on twitter...but did anyway. You have so much to share with others and I truly appreciate your helpful advice. www.sandysanderellasmusings.blogspot.com Simply a great post!

Julie Luek said...

Get off my toes, girl. ;) Great post. Someone up there said it, you could be writing devotionals. I don't know what to think of all this and the prayer. I have some big decisions and have to just lay them down at God's feet or I get too tangled in the emotional fallout. Thanks for the prayer and reminder.

Andrew Leon said...

My oldest son has a significant issue making decisions based upon what he wants. He wants to please everyone or, more specifically, not let anyone down. We're constantly having to ask him "what do you want?" with the frequent answer of "I don't know." It's very frustrating.

Still, I don't think most people ever bother to think of other people when making decisions.

Misha Gericke said...

Thank you very much for your prayer. It means a lot to me.

Misha Gericke said...

Awe Megan, I'm honored and humbled to know that my series has been touching you so much.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks, Tracy!

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks a lot!

Misha Gericke said...

Absolutely. And they're almost never to our advantage.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks Erin. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)

Misha Gericke said...

Yes, the good Lord has a way of making choices a lot easier. Thanks for visiting back!

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks, Sandy! Your support and appreciation means a lot to me. :-)

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha maybe one day I will write devotionals. When I'm a bit stronger and able to get through the huge amount of work involved. :-)

I'm praying that God will guide you to the right decisions.

Misha Gericke said...

I hope he learns to stand up for what he wants. Because he sounds like a wonderful person who deserves to be happy.

Sangita Kalarickal said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. As I read your post I realized that the tougher thing for me was knowing what choices are there with me, for me. Always an issue, this!
http://skaypisms.blogspot.com/

Misha Gericke said...

Yeah it can be, but with practice, you'll start spotting them easily.

Doreen McGettigan said...

We have a decision to make in our family, a tough love kind of decision. Great post, thank you!