The first one would be to change your circumstances.
As some of you mentioned, circumstances are hard to change, because it affects other people. And, like Julie pointed out yesterday, a lot of times, you're in a situation because of good-natured (if naive) choices you'd made before.
And here's the thing. You can't undo your choices. Even if you do get to a point where you were earlier in your life, say... by divorcing your spouse, you won't be the same person you were before. You've changed.
So no. Taking charge isn't about getting back to a point of being happy. It's about moving forward. It's about growing as a person. That's what brings you happiness.
But the choices to move forward have as many forms as people have different lives. Not choosing is never a good option. It just shoves you back into living a stagnant life. One where you have to passively deal with what life throws at you. Instead of taking big chunks of life and actually living.
Still, I know that some choices are really hard, so I'm going to share with you a way of thinking you might want to try. Of course, the better idea is to do it with a lot of prayer.
First: you need to think of yourself. And no. Not in a selfish way. It's just that up to now, you probably got into this situation because you made decision based on what other people wanted. This is a broad assumption, I know. But it's something I've noticed about us. Those good natured choices we made are good natured because they're to please someone else.
If we make choices for ourselves, they're just choices. Big ones or not.
Back to making a choice.
Think of yourself. What do you stand to gain from this? What do you risk losing? Any advantages or disadvantages? This doesn't have to be financial. In fact. Finances should actually come in low on your list for doing anything.
Then (and this is important): Think of who your decisions will affect. Your spouse? Children? Friends? How will your choice really affect them?
By "really", I mean this. Back to the example of divorcing your spouse. You have children. And up to now, you've postponed this decision because you want to keep the family together. Looking at how this will affect children, the first thing you would say is: but I can't break up the family.
And yet... if your husband is abusive to that child. Or to you, for that matter. It affects the child's wife in a negative way. Much more so than breaking both of you out.
Basically, that's how difficult decisions are made. By weighing the positives and negatives for all involved - including you.
I want to escape this difficult situation I'm in. I know I can't live my life to the full without doing this. But Lord, I don't know how.
So many people can be hurt by this choice I want to make, so I want to make the right one.
What is Your will, Lord?
Please guide me in making this choice and give me the strength needed to follow through.
In Jesus's name I pray,