Friday, April 5, 2013

A to Z Challenge: Expectations

Sorry for being so late to post today. Been struggling with a migraine all day. In fact, I still have it, but I'm not skipping a post.

So today, I want to prepare you for something you're really never going to expect.

The people closest to you, the ones you trust and love and expected to support you, probably won't.

In fact, they're going to resist the changes you bring about in your life again and again. For months, maybe even years.

It was like that when I decided to seriously follow my heart (and head) and go into the arts. The one person who I thought would support me in my quest to live a happier life, my mother, absolutely refused to support me.

We had constant fights about it, because she thought it was a phase. She didn't get at all that I was dead serious and more importantly, truly motivated for the first time in my life.

I once told my best friend that I wanted to live a life worth living and there's nothing wrong with living a life I want. Her response: Don't worry, you'll grow up soon enough.

Yeah... support... don't count on it. Because the people around you will think you're setting yourself up for failure. They think they're protecting you by trying to stop you from taking charge of your life.

Besides the protective aspect, there are also their expectations to contend with. My mother expected me to get a banking job or something similar. Someone else's husband might expect food on the table every night.

And when we inadvertently mess with the status quo, they put up a fight. Because hey, everyone was comfortable with the way things were before.

Well... cry me a river. No matter what my mother expected, I happen to know I would have blown my brains over my desk a few years after getting to it. And no, Ms Hypothetical, your husband won't starve from making his own meal for once.

I think you get the idea, but there's only one expectation I can guarantee for you. Expect to fight for everything you want to achieve. Sometimes hard.

Because the moment you give in, those people who were supposed to support you become your excuses.

And that will bring you back to A.

Prayer


Lord, 

Thank you for giving me the chance and the ability to take charge of my life. 

There's just one thing, Lord, that's really getting to me. This wall of ambivalence I'm hitting into everywhere. I know that I'm doing the right thing. I know that this is what You want me to do. 

So I pray that you please work in the hearts of the people who are so set against this journey. And if need be, give me the strength to continue without their support. 

In Jesus's name, 

Amen.

22 comments:

Megan said...

Amen. :)

Andrea said...

Oooh, sorry about your migraine! Was stunned by the reality that support doesn't come from where you'd expect, and have had others experience this recently as well. Although the spin was finding out that support did come from where it wasn't expected.

Julie Luek said...

I always try to listen to the opinions of those closest to me and take them into consideration. If they're seeing lots of red flags, maybe I'm just missing something. But that doesn't mean, for the most part, that I let those opinions dictate my actions. And you're right, sometimes our actions disrupt their status quo or even poke people about choices they wish they could or would have made but didn't. And I love what Andrea said, "Although the spin was finding out that support did come from where it wasn't expected." That's always a treat too.

Andrew Leon said...

I should have a long response to this, sort of, but I have to run out the door and get my daughter to her accordion lesson.

Mary Aalgaard said...

You wrote out the words that I've often thought, sometimes even said out loud. So many times when people respond in a negative way, it's their own insecurities and unlived dreams that are coming out. Keep doing what you know in your heart is right.

Lovely prayer.

Betty Alark said...

Right on, Misha!!! Right on! Write on!!!

Loved it!

Melody said...

I love this post! I have been feeling the same way lately. And you are right, "Because the moment you give in, those people who were supposed to support you become your excuses." I am totally going to quote you. Keep at your dreams. If you are truly in love with something, I believe that following it IS success.

Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous said...

I think it's important to recognise that you want someone elses approval, but you don't necessarily need it. If we could all make that distinction I think we'd be a lot happier.

Ida Chiavaro said...

I started singing after reading this Misha,- I can't get DoReMi out of my head now :) - In the beginning I felt like crying. So beautifully written. Sometimes family and friends are the last people to 'let go' of who they think you are, or should be, and some even go so far as to be nasty in their criticisms. The support - excuses line is definitely quotable :)

Francene Stanley said...

You could consider those people who reject your change to be helpful. They made you stronger--more determined. ;-)

David Macaulay said...

Certainly can relate to that traditional mindset thing - mind you every time my daughter says she might want to be an artist some day I'm like hmm you might want to look at dentistry lol..

David

http://britsintheus23.blogspot.com/

Misha Gericke said...

:-)

Misha Gericke said...

That is so true. Support does come, but I've found that it mainly comes from God. :-)

Misha Gericke said...

That's true. And that's why I'm putting such a lot of focus on God's will in my prayers. Because sometimes, the people close to us do have valid warnings. But other times, they're just raising red flags to protect the status quo.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha thanks for stopping by any way!

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks Mary! And you're right. Often times, it's the people's own issues coming up when they try to "help" you.

Which means we can't take it personally. Even if it's difficult.

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks Betty! Glad you enjoyed the post. :-D

Misha Gericke said...

Hahahaha I love that I'm writing quotables now. ;-)

Good luck with your dreams!

Misha Gericke said...

Yeah, the difference is in fact huge and has a massive impacts on our lives.

Misha Gericke said...

Yeah, but most often, they're really happy once they see that your new life is making you happy. :-)

Misha Gericke said...

Oh yeah definitely.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahahaha I understand that. And I understand where my parents came from back then as well. Still, it is something I struggle with, because I know the damage to my health and life as a result of feeling trapped by people's expectations.

I'm just very fortunate that I could figure out that I didn't have to be stuck.