Monday, December 17, 2012

In which revenge could be sweet, but poisonous.

Sometimes, being a better person is such a lot of work.

Take me, for example. There's this person I'm having to deal with on a monthly basis. Who's for all intents and purposes abusing the credit laws in order to commit extortion and blackmail against me and my mother.

I know this. I'm pretty sure he knows it too, because when I pointed it out, he threatened me again.

Thing is... there's nothing I can do about it except wait. And even then, God keeps telling me to let it go.

Which is hard. Really hard. This guy is threatening things I worked really hard to achieve and I know that getting my own back against him is well within my means. All I have to do is to wait until the loan he's threatening me about is paid in full.

Once that's done, he's lunch meat for me. Because he did the threatening in written form.

But God says... no.

Honestly, this is pretty hard to swallow. I mean, what he's doing is wrong. Very wrong. It's only fair that he gets what's coming to him.

But... the answer stays no.

At which point I just want to rage and go nuts, because this guy is practically begging to be disbarred.

But then God said something, which I'm pretty sure is a saying I know, but forgot:

Those who always chase others, never stand still themselves. 

Then I remembered the bible story (1 Samuel 25) where David wanted to kill someone for slighting him, but this man's wife, Abigail, rode out to meet him and begged him not to kill her husband. Abigail asked David to let God do justice and not him.

David agreed.

And God did.

The best thing is, David didn't end up with blood on his hands, doing something that displeased his Lord. The man who's insulted him was taken by God.

And that's the thing that gave me hold. Like David's army, my taking action against man wouldn't only affect him. It would affect those close to him. Those he probably has to provide for. In a sense, I'd have their blood on their hands.

And although I feel really annoyed to let the bad person win, I know I have to spare the innocent people around him who I would have hurt if I didn't.

Besides, it's incredibly foolish of me to want to take matters into my own hands because I'm afraid I might not like how God handles the situation. In fact, it's... sinfully proud of me.

So I beg His forgiveness and give over this matter to Him in it's entirety. Only God, in His infinite wisdom, will know how to deal with this man in a way that's just and pleasing to Him at the same time.

Have you ever wanted so bad to get your own back against someone who hurt you, but ended up turning the other cheek and handed the matter over to God? How did you come to the decision to do so? And how did you feel afterwards?

Me? Although I'm still annoyed with that guy, I actually feel at complete peace with my decision. And I know that now, the wound he inflicted will heal and I'll one day get to forget about it and him. A much better solution than having it fester for the rest of my life.

20 comments:

Annalisa Crawford said...

Sorry to hear you're having such a challenging time. I don't think I've ever been in a similar position. If you feel happy with the decision you've made, then it's the right one. Stay strong and be happy :-)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Sorry that guy is making your life hell, but Amen that you understand the truth. Every time we try to do it on our own instead of letting God handle it, we mess things up.

Terry W. Ervin II said...

Hang in there. In time this will be an episode that you've turned the page on. I know, easier to say now than it will be to look back a time after it's over.

J.L. Campbell said...

I'm glad I read this, Misha. It's our human nature to want to deal with things ourselves, just in case God doesn't deal with it the way we think we should. I think it's a measure of the maturity of your faith that you have acknowledged God's answer and are going to stand by His word.

Michael Offutt, Speculative Fiction Author said...

I'm sorry, Misha, but I don't believe in god. I'm an atheist. So I fully support taking revenge or getting back if you've been wronged by some jerk face. I think it's a natural human compulsion. I think if people aren't made to face up to their crimes in real life then they get away with them Scott free.

Beth said...

You know I think if you're being threatened in an unlawful way, God would want you to stand up for yourself. Do it properly of course. Use the legal system, but if he's doing it to you, he's probably doing it to others too. And someone else might not know they have rights. God is for fairness--justice. Do it for the right reasons, but stand up for yourself.

Lexa Cain said...

If you're at peace that's all that matters. In all my years though (and it's a lot), I've never seen a bad person get what they deserve. I've only seen the weak be taken advantage of. It doesn't mean you have to sink to the level of the bad people, though. Look out for yourself and keep true to the path you know is right.

Colleen Chen said...

I agree with Lexa--what matters is that you're at peace. But you could be at peace and totally neutral to him and still report him appropriately, so he doesn't do it again, and so he is aware of your boundary.

Anyway, thanks for sharing--what a good blog post!

Lynda R Young said...

I just want to give you a massive hug, Misha. I had to go through something similar a few years back. It's sooo not easy to let the bad guy win. I had to constantly remind myself that the bad guy NEVER wins. It might seem like they win, but really they don't.
Many hugs
Lyn

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Now I see what you meant! Yes, resist the urge to throttle. And it doesn't matter if you believe in God or not - it's called doing the right thing.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I see it this way, if he's treating you, he is probably threatening someone else. When these kinds of people feel like they have power over others, they will abuse it. Can you report him to the police? Has he threatened your life? Is he still going to be threatening you long after the debt is paid?

No, I'm not saying you should get revenge. I believe karma will bite him in the butt. But if he's doing anything illegal, then action does need to be taken, to protect you and others. *hugs*

The Golden Eagle said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been having such a rough time. Hope things are better soon!

Helena said...

This is when maybe it'd be really convenient for you to have a big, hairy uncle named Guido. And Guido pays a little visit to this jerk and talks politely to him. And the jerk gets the subtext of Guido's words and straightens out really fast.

Seriously, though, there's a big difference between revenge and justice, just as there's a big difference between being a good Christian/Jew/whatever and being a doormat. If this guy is threatening you no doubt he is being just as destructive and verbally violent to others. For all you know it could be God's will that you bring this bad person to justice so that he stops hurting people. If you can only do so after a loan is paid and he no longer has power over you, then so be it. Meanwhile, I admire your patience and courage.

S.P. Bowers said...

So sorry you're dealing with this. It's not fair and it's not fun. You are the better person though. Forgiving him and moving on will bless your life more than his. Good luck.

Sylvia van Bruggen said...

Forgiving and letting go is the best decision to make in this situation. Much love and healing to you

Laura Diamond said...

*hugs* Letting go is SO HARD, but will be the most freeing thing to do. ;)

Ellie Garratt said...

Oh, Jadie. That's truly awful. But I so admire your decision. You are a strong person and can put this behind you, and I do believe in karma. This horrible man will get what he deserves in the end.

Ellie Garratt said...

I meant Misha. Doh.

Misha Gericke said...

Hahaha no worries. Something similar happened to me recently. :-P

Misha Gericke said...

Thanks so much for the support and advice, all! Much appreciated.