The Thing About Wisdom and Voices Lost Through Censorship

It's actually Tuesday today. August 25, but something has been going on on my Facebook for the past two days that is bothering me so much that I decided to write about it. At the same time, I am not giving the person behind it the influence required to make me change my posting schedule in order to publish this and this is why this post is only going live today.

The truth is that I am furious, but I am trying to keep myself from ranting, because there's really no point. In fact, it would go exactly against the point I am trying to make. I am, however human, so if I come across as sharp in some way... Sorry. Kind of.

Yesterday, I got a status update on my Facebook that goes along the lines of the following:

"It scares me when people younger than the age of 30 gives lifecoaching and advice about living. And it's even worse because they try to be wise and then they're wiser-than-thou too. You only really know what life is about at 40, so before you try to give some advice, try living a little longer."

To which I responded, in short, that I am 26 and posting to this blog (and yes, I do give life dvice on it) and I think that it's wrong (specifically stereotyping) to assume that all people under (or over, for that matter) a certain age gives bad (or good) advice because of that.

The response:

"Blog or not, I won't fucking believe that anyone that hasn't lived 40+ years has enough life experience to advise anyone else on life. Once people reach that sort of age, they hang their head in shame for what they said in youth, because young people live in a bubble and believe it to be the whole world, and then they are arrogant and cocky too." 

I typed a long response to this, but ended up deleting most of it, because I knew that in the end, it would only waste my time to engage further than I have. And my long comment most certainly would have resulted in a longer and longer argument with someone who doesn't even respect my opinion. The point is, though, that this kind of thinking needs to be talked about. And it goes beyond age. It goes to any possible form of otherness that we can think of. (Color. Sexual Orientation. Where you're born. How you speak. What language is spoken. Beliefs.)

For simplicity (and because it was the discrimination I have just been exposed to), age will be my focus.

But the WHOLE TIME I AM WRITING THIS, 

I am aware of the fact that as discrimination goes, 

I got it easy.

Although I wrote a short comment to close out my part of that discussion and left it at there, I feel that this needs to be part of a larger discussion. The gist of my comment was this: 

I don't care what you think. 

I will speak out. 

I will share advice. 

I will share my (much larger than people would think) life experience with other people.

Because if doing so helps one person,

my goals in writing this blog has been achieved.

More importantly: 

Dismissing people's voices/advice

simply because of some otherness

creates a situation where all you ever hear

reinforces your own possibly narrow-minded world view. 

THIS IS HOW BUBBLES ARE CREATED.

And this is how wisdom is lost.

I might be 26. I might not know everything about life, but I am wise enough to know that I never will until the day I die. And I am open-minded enough to learn from people around me. Be they my age, younger, older, white, black, Asian, Hispanic, straight, trans, gay, Christian like me, Christian not like me, or any other faith. Or of no faith whatsoever. Or any number of other othernesses that I'm not naming because to name them all would take a book. 

Because being different from me

DOES NOT make your voice

have less value than mine.

AND IT DOES NOT!!!

GIVE ME THE RIGHT TO SILENCE YOU

Be it physically, or through ridicule,

or through trying to convince you

that somehow, 

YOU'RE NOT WORTHY OF YOUR VOICE.

Our opinions might be wrong,
but we deserve to have those opinions weighed by merit
instead of having them discounted simply because we're different.

And call me an idealist, but I expect similar treatment. Respect is a two-way road. Always. ALWAYS. 

The world would be a much better place if a lot of people

GREW UP AND REALIZED THIS.

And sadly, that's not an age thing. 

What exactly are we doing to ourselves?!

Stepping back and being happy.

Hi all! I'm back from editing again. I'll take another day before dropping by and commenting, but in the meantime, I thought the blog needed some love. 

It's really amazing how easily discontent inches into our lives and takes it over. Sad thing is, often the very things you were excited about when you started them make you unhappy now.

Maybe the better word is unhappier. 

I'm still a happy person, but lately I've been having to work harder and harder to stay that way. It's not the way I want to live my life. 

Still, I felt like the things I'd volunteered for had become responsibilities. They became chores. Worse, they became tiresome chores. 

For me, 90% of my church activities are that way. Despite my initial optimism about the new youth pastor, things are returning to more of the same. Same with the choir. I quit it a year ago, but people begged me to return, saying things will change. It didn't. 

I've tried to change. I tried to look to myself and try to fix things through the way I react. But I can't stop the church choir sopranos from bitching and griping about me without becoming a worse singer I can. I can't do anything about the youth pastor NOT EVEN RESPONDING to submissions and suggestions I made. If people listen, I can't make them HEAR. I can't make the band leader realize that two griping teenage girls with maybe an eight note range between them doesn't make it a good idea to push me (plus superior skill, training and range) out of the band. 

I volunteered because they couldn't lead the youth in praise. I volunteered for youth because at the time, God wanted me to. I volunteered for choir because I love singing and because young voices lift the sound up. 

But if no one wants me there, why should I continue to put in hours on hours of unpaid time to no effect?  Seems I'm doing no one a favor. Not even myself. 

All I'm doing is tiring myself out without seeing any fruits of my labors. And damn it. Although I don't expect it, getting ONE freaking thank you would have been lovely. Then I would have known I at least helped. But need it or not, I've been wasting my time on people who don't want it. 

That is going to stop. I already quit the choir. Staying until the end of the year to help out the choir master (who does want me there). I'm quitting the youth tomorrow morning as soon as I've spoken to my friends in the leadership. 

Then I'm going to regroup and go back to moving between churches, learning what I can and just building my faith. 

This probably won't be forever, but right now, I need to rest. Then I'll look at it again. 

But I am NOT wasting my time a single second more. 

I. Am. Done. 

And you know what? I haven't felt this free or happy in ages.

Have you ever quit things you volunteered for because they made you unhappy?

In Which I Lose It

Warning: Rant to follow. 

So. Interesting questions. 

When you're unhappy because of the way that EVERYONE treats you. Have you thought about changing the way you act towards people in the first place? 

I'm not talking about abusive husbands and the like. 

I'm talking about the fact that you feel lonely because no one says more than a few words to you. 

You're miserable because people shut down the moment you speak. 

Do you think that it's a conspiracy aimed at making you miserable? 

Or at what stage do you think: "mmm... EVERYONE acts this way towards me. Doesn't that make me the common factor to all this? Doesn't that mean that I'm the agent of my own misery?" 

Because hell. I've had more than one person telling me that I'm the problem that I've been trying to change. I've tried to improve. I take all this advice and criticism and try to make something positive of it by trying to be a better person. 

But the first time these same people get pointed out once that they're also adding to some issues, they throw up their hands and say they're not even trying any more. 

Well I'm sorry. But if a person isn't even trying in the first place, what right have they to try to tell me how I should live my life? 

How dare anyone criticize me for reacting strongly to certain things that I'm perfectly within my rights to be upset about, but they get to sulk and punish and mope and be sullen with impunity. 

I know that I'm not an angel. But I'm not with everyone every time something is said or done to make someone miserable. So they should really stop trying to blame me and take a hard look at what they've been doing to provoke certain reactions. 

Because if someone shuts conversation down and complain about people not talking to them.

Or sit to one side and expect people to come after them for conversation. 

Or crack highly inappropriate jokes or make little comments "in jest" and then get angry because people don't "get it". 

Or snap at people and get mad because they snap back. 

Well then, those people have a huge problem, wouldn't you say? And it isn't me. I had nothing to do with it except maybe get caught in the wrong conversation at the wrong time. And yes, I said caught. Because when those people are "not talking to me" because they feel slighted, odds are that I don't want to talk to you either. 

And fact is: No one can blame me. 

Even if they do. 

Okay. Rant over. What are your thoughts? I promise I won't launch a massive attack or anything. This post was a LOOOOOOOONG time in coming.