Sunday, September 18, 2011
Your will be done. Not my will, but Your will, be done.
Easy words to pray. Easy words to say. But do?
No. I think that more than anything, this is something most of us Christians struggle with. Everything goes well, even the way we want it. Why fix something that isn't broken?
And then God says: "Kiddo... I need you somewhere else."
Suddenly the vehicle of your life veers. "Somewhere else? I'm happy where I am. This is where You put me."
"Yes... but I need to put you somewhere else."
And then I remember my dreams. Everything that I want to do. Going somewhere else might make things so difficult. Even impossible. I mean, the commitment required. The people I've connected with... "Lord, are You sure?"
I think if I could see Him, He'd tilt his head as if saying no duh.
"But..." And I go on listing all my issues. Then as if they get babies, I think of more to add. "I'm inexperienced. I'm afraid. People ignore me, leave me unutilized." and on and on. God listens silently.
Once I'm done, God sighs. "It's OK if you don't do it. I still love you, no matter what."
And then He stops. He doesn't leave to sulk. He just settles in, perhaps reading. Or listening to someone else's thoughts.... Giving me time. I go to church and suddenly my old prayer comes to me. One that I've repeated so many times that I forget how serious it is. What it means.
"Your will, Lord. Not mine. My life is yours, do with it what You will."
Now it took me years just to say those words. I guess because I always sensed their finality. That's a promise. And not the kind you back out with once you make it. You're basically giving your life to God, sort of becoming the passenger while letting Him steer.
All and all, it isn't a bad thing, I mean, who better to trust your happiness than your Heavenly Father? On the other hand, it also means that God sometimes sends little and huge curves on our road. He does this for many reasons. For me a big reason is that I sometimes put my hands on the steering wheel. Another is that I fall asleep in the passenger seat and miss some significant points. Sometimes He just really needs me to do something for Him.
Either way, when He asks me to go out on a limb for Him, He isn't (usually unless it's the second situation) do it to rattle me. It's not my job to know why He's doing it. My job is that I shut up and do what He's asking, because after He sent His Son to die for me, it's the least I can do.
So... Tomorrow I will be applying for a job as the Youth Leader in a nearby church and trusting Him to lead me where I need to be. My dreams are important, but if they stop me from doing His will, I don't want them.
Besides, I know from experience, life as God forms it is a million times better than I can possibly conceive on my own...
Does this happen to you too? What do you do? Do you leap at the chance? Do you sometimes drag your feet? Do you back away entirely, thinking that God couldn't possibly be serious about what He's asking?
If you're in the last group, and really don't want to be, feel free to let me know, leave your e-mail address and we can talk about it.
Have a blessed week!