Can you imagine? Years and years of angst finally over, with me doing what I've always dreamed. Will it be everything I hoped it to be? Will it be better?
I really hope so.
After all, I already nearly destroyed myself when I went after other people's dreams for me. Now I'm doing things that will hopefully help to make my dreams come true. I pray every day that that will be enough. Still, if it isn't, I'll have to do more with God's, because I have dreams that have to come true.
But sometimes, I get a bit jittery.
What if I just miss it? Will I be stuck in limbo all my life?
Or worse. What if, after everything I've done, I make it and... it's not what I really love. What if my focus is too narrow, and I missed something I really loved?
And then I snap out of it. Because I realize two things:
1) No matter what, going after my dreams is a much better life than trying to build dreams on other people's expectations.
2) I've been using the broad focus for years in an attempt to find what please others and me. I found plenty of stuff. But the only things I truly have a burning and constant passion for are the things that I'm focusing on now. All those other things served only to distract and hurt me.
And knowing that, I find my doubts fade quickly. Because then I know that no matter what, my life is good and I'm once again living through that phase where everything is possible.
Do you sometimes doubt? What do you do?