A to Z Challenge: Fear

Taking charge of your life is more than making a few decisions and just doing them. Like I mentioned, making and acting on decisions are really difficult. One of the biggest reasons is that you're going to have to start out without a reliable support system.

The other big reason is fear.

Not risk. Because a risk isn't technically an obstacle. It's actually nothing more and nothing less than the chance that something bad might happen. So no, it's not a risk that's keeping you back.

That honor goes to your fear alone.

Sometimes with good reason.

Fear kept me from changing majors in the beginning because I was afraid of what people I knew would think. (Incidentally the worst possible thing I had to fear.) Then came my fear of failing to succeed (not that I even had a clue of what success meant). Then came my fear for my financial stability.

But finances, I'm leaving for M-day.

The point is, there were serious fears in my life and I had to deal with them first before getting anywhere.

And let me tell you this. It takes a while. Addressing my fears and sorting out the after-effects of what I thought money was to me took about two years. It's really a big battle. I'll have post about this for I-day.

Difficult as the application may be, the concept of battling your fears is simple. It's the same process as making a decision, but with a little twist.

Since this is all about your fears, it's about you once again. What do you risk losing? What do you stand a chance of gaining?

To clarify even more, flip it around. If you stay where you are now, what do you have? What chances are you missing out on? In other words, what won't you gain because of missing that chance?

A good example I can think of comes from when I wanted to go into the arts. At that stage, I had a course that would give me some seriously good money if I stayed there long enough.

So obviously, doing something else would mean I'd lose my chances at getting a steady income. But if I did move on, I'd get a chance to do the things I'd always wanted to do.

And if I stayed, I would never get the time to do what I want.

To me, the fact that I'd always be chained to a desk in a career that's known for killing the people in it, without a chance of getting to do what I've always really wanted to do, just wasn't worth it.

And once you decide whether or not taking the risk is, you get to plan your strategy.

Prayer

Lord, 

I'm afraid, but I know You're here for me. Help me to address my fears, Lord. Please let me see the weights and balances of the risks to this decision. 

Guide me in realizing what You want me to do, and open my eyes so I can see just how insignificant my fears are in comparison. 

I pray this in Jesus's name. 

Amen.

Uncertainty

I was recently talking to a friend, who decided to take charge of her life. Exactly as I've experienced, she also came to a point that she just couldn't take being that unhappy any more and decided to do something about it.

And so she is, and I'm incredibly proud of her.

But I digress...

The real point I was getting at was that she mentioned that she has to sift through everything in her life. And in particular, her future plans. She wasn't certain if what she was planning to do is what she's supposed to do. And then, she said that she wasn't even sure how to go on...

Short answer: We don't. Not immediately.

When we come to the realization that we're unhappy with our lives, we need to find what makes us happy all over again. We can't do that by regretting and resenting things in our past, or getting stuck rushing towards the future. We need to learn to live and find ourselves in the present first.

Makes sense, right?

Credit

Doesn't make it easy. Because in the beginning stages, this implies not having ANY plans. AT ALL. PERIOD. Nor do we have anything with which to measure success. At least, that's what I found from my experience.

The reason for this is that we need to give the reins to our life back to God. And we can't do that if we're still in that space where we're the only ones calling the shots. We need to clean the slates of our lives before we can let God write on them.

And unless He's the one doing the writing, we'll never be truly happy. Because He knows better than we do, what we need in our lives and futures.

When we spoke about this, my friend pointed out that the uncertainty of being without any plans is terrifying.

It is. Very terrifying. It took me a lot of will power to keep myself from starting on any of the plans that my mind created just to form a framework that I was used to. But I had to do it, because I knew if I acted on those impulses, that I'd be just as badly off as before. So I forced myself to wait until I grew comfortable with not knowing where I was headed.

And then (It took me about a year of doing what I had to, but not planning for my future.)... God started talking about my future. About His plans and my passions. We spoke to each other and I asked about my dreams and His will.

Before I knew it, I had a glimpse of the plan and could start doing things that brought me in line with what God wanted. But He did not give me the solution easily. I had to trust Him in the most uncertain period of my life.

And He rewarded me with blessings and happiness beyond what I had imagined.

Have you ever realized that you need to change the course of your life? Did the uncertainty of not knowing where to go next scare you?

A to Z Challenge: Risk and Reward

Credit

When it comes to taking charge of your life, there's always an element of risk involved. We can say what we want, but even as I reiterate that I am going after my dreams with all my cylinders firing, I can feel the risks involved.

Because yes, where I want to go is against the stream. If I succeed, I will be celebrated. Still, there is the possibility of failing.

That's the risk.

In order to keep going, we need to look at our risks, accept them for what they are, and grow comfortable with them. Because just as there's a chance of failing, there's still a chance of succeeding too and with that comes rewards greater than we can imagine right now.

And you know what? I'd rather aim for the skies and miss, landing in the stars, than to stay on the ground wishing I was up there.

If you aren't taking charge of your life yet, why don't you investigate the risks and rewards involved?

If you are, have you also noticed that the punishment for failure is a lot smaller than the satisfaction of a life you love and the potential rewards that come with success?

A to Z Challenge: Fear

Photo by Sabrina Campagna

So... those of the lucky few who realized the need to take charge of our lives, know to keep going through all the challenges thrown at us from outside. All the naysayers and dream-eaters in the world can't stop us. 

And then a different beast altogether crosses our paths. 

Fear. 

It comes in many shapes and sizes, but usually it comes at us with its best buddy doubt and takes two forms: 

1) What if I don't make it? 

2) What if I make it, and it isn't what I wanted after all? 

Since taking full charge of ones life is a bit of a daunting task, the first fear is probably the most immediate and real of the two. 

Take me, for example. I have three big dreams. One is to become an author, one is to become a stage performer and the third is to own my own designer clothing line. 

Easy, right? No. One involves me writing and editing, which tends to take over my life. The other involves maintaining a look, which means I have to maintain a healthy lifestyle and being fit. Not easy when you're nailed to a computer. The third involves getting training that is surprisingly expensive. So for me, making all three happen is incredibly difficult. 

The solution to this to make plans that fit in for as much as possible. For example, losing weight and keeping it off: If I look good, I feel good. So not only will it be easier for people to cast me, but I'll be able to write more. And so on. For more details on how I do this, come back on J-Day. 

For me, the second fear is the lurking killer of my motivation. Because the fact is, no one can assure me that I'm not looking at something from an idealistic perspective that will lead to disappointment when I see the real thing. Will it be worth it in the end? Really? 

I'm not sure about how it is for everyone else, but for me, the solution lies in trusting God and putting my faith in Him that He won't lead me astray. Because the whole reason why I'm even on this journey was because He pushed me to make changes. And He guided me to take on my dreams again. 

So when either of my fears hit me, I take it to my Father and talk to Him about it. He might not make it go away, but He will give me the strength I need to move through the fear and continue the journey. 

What fears hit you when you think about chasing your dreams? How do you deal with them?