Wednesday, August 19, 2015

The A to Z of Things I Learned Last Year: Trust

It's back. For those of you wondering what the heck this is: I didn't finish the A to Z Challenge back in April, but I thought that the series would be of some use to me and people reading them, so I've been courageously working my way through the alphabet.

I hit a bit of a snag when I had to publish two books, but now I'm back, which means we get to pick up where we left off. 

The theme is about the things I've learned in some very rough times in 2014 and part of 2015. Today's post will definitely be touching on God and Christianity, so if it isn't your cup of tea, please feel free to not read on. 

Maybe you'd like to see the new painting I'm working on? (It's a sketch, so squint your eyes and imagine awesomeness, please.) If so, all you need to do is click here

*Waits for those who want to leave to leave.*

Those of you who quickly snuck out to see the sketch might have seen this picture in the same post. I hung it on my bed because it looks pretty there, but there's a bit more to the story.

See I made this necklace, and the whole time I was working on it, I was talking to God about the state of my life at the time. I was in my third year of university and... well things were going badly. I didn't have a name for it at the time, but eventually I'd learn the name and it works. 

At the time I was making this necklace, I was smack bang in the middle of an existential crisis. You can see it unfolding in my first years of blogging, but I'm not going to go into too much detail here. Short version is that I no longer knew who I was, because the things I'd been taught to believe myself to be were all lies.

It's not a feeling I can easily describe, but I guess the best way to put it is to say that I was present, but internally there was nothing left. Terrifying. And not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. I turned to art at the time, which is what actually drove me to finish the books I published this year. Part of that was making this necklace. 

As I worked on it, God spoke to me and gave me a beautiful message: "I will always be here."

It was wonderful to hear. It didn't matter who I was. He'd be there for me anyway. It didn't matter what I was going through. He'd be there to either make it better or help me through it.

But to be aware of this, I needed to trust Him. To trust that He'd never desert me, that He'd help and guide me if I let Him.

I find, though, that I forget. No, I don't forget the great things He's done for me in the past. Or the fact that He gave me (and all of his children) this promise. No, I forget to make the choice to trust Him. Because yes, it is a choice. It's a centering of our thoughts on Him and His deep, unending love when so much is going on to distract us from it.

This little stone cross and its few stone beads are a visual reminder of this. So now it's hanging on my bed. That way, I remember to trust when I go to sleep and to trust as soon as I wake up. 

I just want to close this post with a quick prayer.

God, thank You that You're always there,
That You continue to love us no matter what we do,
Or what is done to us. 
Thank You that in the hardest times, You're still there to guide us through, 
And that You're there to celebrate with us when things take a turn for the better. 
I pray, Lord, that You bless us all, 
And that You make yourself felt, seen or heard by everyone who know that You're supposed to be there,
But who just can't be sure. 
I ask that You remind those of us who forget to trust in Your promise. 
I pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, Your Son. 


Barbara In Caneyhead said...

A beautiful and important lesson learned. One of the hardest things about the Christian walk is simply trusting and resting in God. We, like Peter, take our eyes off the Lord and start to sink! Then we panic. Then God swoops in and plucks us out of the waves we fell into and (I think) shakes His head and smiles and whispers, "when will you learn?"

Life & Faith in Caneyhead

Karen Lange said...

We often make things much more complicated than they should be. Well, at least I do, anyway! lol God is indeed still on the throne and nothing takes Him by surprise. Thanks so much for this timely reminder. Have a great weekend! :)

Misha Gericke said...

Such a beautiful way of looking at it, Barbara.

I do too, Karen. And it's sad, because more often than not, things are laughably simple.