Wednesday, June 13, 2012

It's a work in progress

As I mentioned on Monday, I'm working to control the effects on stress on my life, but I will admit that it's not easy.

In my line of work, some days feel like a long parade of bad/negative/toxic people. Today is one of those. In fact, it even started earlier than usual, so I didn't even get my usual early morning peace.

Soo... yeah... I'm embarrassed to admit that I went back to my old ways of thinking and reacting. And you know what? Two days worth of work took about three hours to be unraveled.

I think negative behaviors breed like bacteria once you give them ideal circumstances. And negative thinking and reacting badly pretty much creates that wet, sheltered environment that those bad habits need.

Five hours into my day, I was completely freaking out. I wanted to cut and run. Anything but face another five minutes in that situation.

Afterwards, I realized that it wasn't that bad. It's just that if I let my negative thoughts and actions grow, they choke me. When that happens, I don't have the necessary perspective that I need in order to stay in charge of my life. Anything feels like too much effort and nothing feels worth it. Not even the things that I know are very important to me.

So as I write this, I'm thinking positive things. After I post this, I'm going to take some time to just be quiet and breathe. This weekend I'm going to be away from the office to see my dad for the first time in nearly two years. I'm hoping that (in addition to the joy of seeing him again) the change of pace (no work) and scenery (other side of the country) will give me enough peace to make my positive outlook more of a habit.

Step by step, I will beat my self-damaging way of thinking.

Anyone else decide to try the two things I suggested yesterday? How's it working for you?

3 comments:

Susan Kane said...

It is a constant struggle with negativism. I can feel my insides plummet to the bottom of an empty well with negativism.

Mike Keyton said...

Hope Dad works the magic

mywithershins said...

Visiting the family I love always picks me up out of a 'funk'. Leaving stressful situations also helps. Hope you manage to come back refreshed. :)