Hi all! Today I'll most certainly be writing about God and my faith, so if you'd rather not read this, maybe you'd prefer to head over to my other blog?
Right? Okay good.
I'm still continuing with my A to Z list of Lessons I learned in 2014 and the few months afterward. It's slow going of course, but I do feel like I'm slowly but surely making progress.
Back when I was picking words to correspond to the letters, prayer immediately came up for P. Because basically, I really don't know where I'd be if I hadn't been praying.
I don't mean this in a strict "praying for the right outcome" sense. In fact, I really spent very little time on those sorts of prayers.
I don't really follow a "Thank You, You're wonderful, now can I please have this?" Format. Nor do I set out a certain amount of time every day to pray. This in particular, I know people find weird. I understand why they would, too.
The thing is, such regimented, methodical approaches to prayer leave me cold. Please don't see it as my knocking it. I honestly believe there's a place and reason for anyone.
It's just that it often seems to me that a lot of people (especially in my church) focus on one type of praying as if it's the only one out there, when in fact it's not.
Anyway. Prayer to me is a focus and awareness on God's presence in my life. Which means it's not something I do every morning at a specific time. It's something I do the moment something brings my attention back to it.
Like say... Right now. Because I know that this is a difficult subject to write about and if the Holy Spirit doesn't give me the right words, this post won't do what it's supposed to. Which is to say: Help someone in some way.
On another level, I'm typing this while listening to the rain against my window, and I'm thankful because I know that God's the one who made sure we got the house just before the weather turned cold.
In these moments, I say "Thank you." Or "Please help me." And if I've ever said to you that "I'm praying for you." It means that right at that moment, I had just finished my prayer for you.
So to me, prayer is a constant reminder that even in the worst of times, God's right there with me. That He was accessible whenever I wanted to rant about my circumstances.
But that's not the best thing about prayer. The best thing was when God answered. When He warmed me and strengthened me so tangibly that I couldn't doubt for a second that He was there. The amazing thing was that this always happened during or after moments when I fought with Him for putting me and my loved ones through this.
In listening to Him, I learned all of the things I've written down so far. All of the things that I'm going to write.
But I wouldn't have learned anything if I hadn't been praying and trying to understand.