A brief look into my mind at the moment.

Sorry for being so quiet. Just in a deeply contemplative mood as I'm winding up my year.

Yeah... can't even really write about it yet, because all my thoughts are running together and splintering in completely random ways.

No idea why. Maybe it's just the fact that it's Friday? And that I spent the past few days creating a calculator for air freights. If that sounds simple, I have three words for you. Compound. IF. Functions.

Still, now I have the calculator working like it's supposed to, so I'll never have to calculate air freight by hand. If you're thinking I'm wasting time, I don't think you ever tried to ship bulk by air. It's a pain in the ass to work out how much it costs.

So at least now, I just have to plug some numbers into a few blocks.

Singing-wise, I'm looking forward to the final practice on Tuesday. Who knows? Maybe the annoying church soprano's will push me far enough for me to give them a little dose of perspective. I only got to that point last week already.

Church service-wise, I now stopped the smallgroup I had until the new year, when I'll decide if I'll continue or not. Reasons for this are many, but mainly, I'm getting a lot of guests in December, and there's this one person who literally had 4 people saying that they won't return if she does. And honestly, I'm tired.

Oh yeah, speaking of which. If you're really really exhausted, but your B vits and iron looks normal, you might to check out your magnesium levels. Low magnesium is at the heart of many issues. Including sleep problems. Insomnia is listed often. I get night terrors. Until the night before last, I've woken up at least once every night, terrified, for the past three weeks.

It literally got to a point where I burst out crying about nothing. As in. Nothing. No one said anything. Nothing happened. I just suddenly started and couldn't stop. Why? I was exhausted. Things are starting to get better, though. Which is great.

And on top of that, I want to instate some health goals for next week. I've been wanting to exercise for weeks now, but never felt up to it. This needs to stop. So I'll be spending this weekend thinking about them and sharing them with you tomorrow.

But yeah. That's my life at this stage. What's going on in yours? Who's finished their Christmas shopping? (I haven't even started.)

Stretch and release

I decided to finish up with NaNoWriMo, this time with another story. Still, I'm taking things slower and not pushing myself so hard. 

It's just not always so good for me. 

Yes, there's a commitment to getting things like writing done, but I just can't see how it's good to push myself too hard. 

I mean, there is a definite advantage to pushing limits. We learn a lot about ourselves by doing it. But once you cross the limit of what you're capable of, it's not wise to go too far too fast. 

Why? Well... I think about it the same way as I think about stretching my muscles. Stretching is good. Really good. It works best by stretching a little further every time you stretch, but not beyond that point. 

If I stretch too much too soon, I'm actually damaging the muscles I'm trying to strengthen. 

It's the same with life. It's not good to go through life without testing yourself and stretching your abilities. At the same time, it's not good to go too far too fast, because you might actually do more harm than good. 

That's what I seem to be doing now. I've been stretching myself out for a while, now it's time for a rest. So I'm pulling back from every non-essential activity I'm involved with. 

I'm quitting choir singing because it's not good for my voice. Also, it puts too much of a strain on my patience .

I'm backing away from involvement in church activities because it's stretching me and my faith too fast and too hard. This was of course, done with a lot of prayer, but God seems to be with me on this one. So I'm going to try and focus on learning more again. 

I'm not buying more orchids until I'm absolutely positive that the ones I have are doing well. 

I stretched my writing skills and determination and wrote a draft manuscript in 16 days. Now I know I can do it, but it makes me tired. Still, I'm continuing to write, but in a sense, as a warm-down to my intense stretching session. 

Luckily December will give me a break from all of my stretching activities. Then I get to do the exercise again and stretch in wonderfully novel ways. 

Do you also make a point of stretching in your life? Do you make sure you don't go too far too fast? What have you been up to, lately? 

And I'm Back

Managed to finished my NaNoWriMo draft early, so I'll be back to more regular posting as of Wednesday.

How are you doing?

Starting to Take Charge of Your Life: Part 4

So... I know that I said that this would just be a three part series, but no. Something occurred to me that feels so important that I'm taking time out from NaNo to write about it.

You've taken responsibilities for your life. You've challenged the status quo. You're fighting to do what your supposed to. What more could there be?

Well. Glad you asked.

Owning Your Life

It's pretty closely related to taking responsibility, but it's more of a step further towards taking charge. Where taking responsibility for your life asks: "Why am I letting myself be unhappy?", owning it asks: "What am I going to do about it?" 

It's realizing that merely trying to change your outlook won't make you happy. Changing the way you're going about your life, will. (And it will change your outlook. Trust me.) 

Best of all, you're entitled to do with your life what you want. It's yours. It doesn't belong to your mother, father, husband, wife, children or anyone else. It belongs to you. 

You can allow yourself to go down a downwards spiral with drinking and drugs. Or you can pull yourself up towards a better life that you deserve. You can stay where you are and sacrifice doing what you've been made to do in favor of security. 

It's your life. Your choice. 

But whatever you do, own it. 

If something makes you unhappy, change it. If someone is hurting you, decide how you're going to react. Not based on what things are like now, but on all of your options. Pick the best option. 

Even if putting the best option into action scares the shit out of you. 

More often than not, you'll find things become easy once they've been started on. 

But you need to start making those changes for things to change. It won't be happening on its own. 

Are you owning your life? Do you want to? Are you going to? Are you taking ownership RIGHT NOW? 

Yes? 

Good. Now you really are on your way. 

In Which NaNoWriMo Gets in the Way

Hi. So sorry for not posting. I'm doing NaNoWriMo again this year, so I might be a bit random in all my postings.

It's just a choice I made, since drafting a new story has to take priority some time, and because I haven't written anything new in a year, I figured giving myself a month in which to try and do it would be worthwhile.

So far things are a bit weird in the story, but we'll see how it turns out.

How are you doing?