Two more seemingly constant things: fear and economics

I think my economics results are out.

And... I'm not looking.

Because I am terrified. The main source of this fear is the What If question. What if I failed again?

You can't even begin to imagine how much I want these results to tell me I passed. Which of course means that if I don't, the disappointment will be crushing.

So, since I don't want to take the risk of crying over the weekend, I decided to find out how I did on Monday. Only thing I regret about this is that it's eating at me. Constantly. What ifs buzz around my head, preventing any sort of creative output.

There's only one thing to do: Mentally prepare, because I have to get through this. I am not letting this subject define my character or put a limit on my life. I am not going to let this course scar me more than it already has.

I have a life to live and I refuse to let a subject like economics prevent me from doing exactly that.