A to Z Challenge: Zero Excuses

Whoooooo! I finally made the last post. ^_^

Thank you to all of you who read my post. I hope you enjoyed my challenge offerings.

Today's post is a bit of a kick-start, I hope.

See, I was once in a place where I was pretty much miserable, but living with the misery. Because while I hated where I was, it was familiar. And familiar was comfortable.

I made every excuse I could to stay in my comfort zone. "It's my own fault I'm so miserable", "Give it a few years and I'll do what I want", "but there are so many perks to this", "I'll never get a chance like this again", "I have no resources to change my situation" and on and on and on.

The thing is, excuses never make me feel less miserable. They just sort of give me a reason not to move. And that's so dangerous. Why?

Because these are answers and counter-questions that I discovered when I seriously considered taking charge of my life:

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"It's my own fault I'm so miserable" => "Yep. Because you're allowing myself to wallow in a situation you hate."
"Give it a few years and I'll do what I want" => "If you die today, what will you have shown for your time?"
"But there are so many perks to this" => "Yep, and you'll probably blow your brains out in one of them."
"I'll never get a chance like this again" => "Assuming the above doesn't happen, am you going to come to the end of your life, thinking: 'Was that it? Why did I waste so much time?'"
"I have no resources to change my situation" => "Crap. You're perfectly equipped to take charge of your life. You're just being lazy."

Did I ever mention that God pulls no punches when I honestly ask for answers?

Any way... He had an excellent point. And while some of the answers were really harsh, they really cut through years of nonsense that I told myself. Those answers changed my life.

So if you've read through my posts and still think that taking charge of your life isn't worth the effort, even when you feel discontented and miserable, I want to ask you to do a couple of things for me.

Firstly, please ask yourself: Why can't I just try taking charge of my life?
Then write down all of the reasons why and ask God to address those questions for you. Maybe He'll treat you with kid gloves, maybe He won't. But I promise you that it will change your life if you listen to Him.
After that... the choice is yours.

Let me know how it goes?

A to Z Challenge: You'll Get There

Sometimes, I sort  of stop what I'm doing and think: What on earth am I thinking? This is impossible.

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And it does often look like that. Taking charge of one's life is a huge task. One that will never be finished. So in a sense, I'm completely correct in thinking that I'm doing something impossible. But... that should never stop any one of us.

It's something that we have to learn to live with. We have to accept that we'll always be doing more, learning more, changing. We won't ever be masters of taking charge of our lives.

But... one day, you will come to the point where you're master of your life.

It won't happen with fireworks and fanfare. It's just something that will occur to you. Hey... I'm owning my life and handling it responsibly. I'm following God's plan, not only for me, but my role in God's bigger picture. 


It's a truly special feeling. One that I truly hope that every one of you will get to experience one day.

A to Z Challenge: X Marks the Spot AKA Know Where You're Going

Wow, I can't believe how fast April is going by. But it just goes to show you. Time can pass with relative ease when you have at least some sort of plan.

I mean, I only planned in the broadest sense, but I knew where this blog was headed for April, so I didn't have any issues with delivering the posts. Even though I didn't manage to schedule more than the first six or so days.

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Life's a lot like that too. You don't have to plan every tiny detail, but having at least a vague idea of where you're headed helps a lot. It shows you what needs to be done. Also, it gives you an idea of when these things need to be done.

Also, knowing where you're headed is a lot like dangling a carrot in front of a donkey. Especially when that place is somewhere you want to be.

But if you don't know yet, don't force yourself to decide. That just opens you up to "helpful" outsiders who invariably give you bad advice that you'll follow, because you won't know it's bad until later.

And yes, I know this from experience. Much better to give yourself time to decide. And remember, once you decide on what you want, you don't have to lock yourself in. If you find yourself being miserable in something you thought you'd enjoy, change your destination and move on.

At least you would have learnt from the bad experience.

If you insist on staying just because you chose it, you're just making yourself miserable, and it's not what taking charge of your life is about.

So yes, it's okay to change where you're headed, as long as you're headed somewhere, and at least have a clue about where you want to be.

Did you ever choose to do something and end up hating it? Did you move on or did you stay? How did it work out for you?

A to Z Challenge: Work

Most of us find ourselves doing work that's not really all that in line with what we want, with what we dream for ourselves. 

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It can be a source of huge frustration.

Especially when it feels as if we're locked in, for example by responsibilities to those we love. 

I felt that way about my university course, and to a large extent I still feel that way. But I realize that I can't shirk my responsibilities to chase after dreams, no matter how important they are. 

So that means that I have to do both. And that I sacrifice other things, like watching t.v. in order to make more time for things that mean a lot to me. 

Of course, I am foreseeing a crunch-time on the horizon when my work and dream-work have to coincide, but until then, I'm investing time in both, trusting that my dedication will pay off. 

Are you also frustrated because what you're doing isn't helping you to your dream? Or are you lucky enough to be passionate about what you do? 

A to Z Challenge: Victors and Victims

Once there was a lady who came to us asking for help. Actually... she didn't want help.

She wanted a crutch. She wanted someone who sympathized with her issues and who'd carry her through her life. 

My mother, being of a certain type of a personality, insisted on seeing proof that the lady would help herself before she'd chip in, saying that she helps people who help themselves. 

Which is fair. I mean to a very large extent, my mother lets her own children fight their own battles. Yes, she'll support us and help us, but she'll push us to do something before just handing over cash or whatever else it is that she requires. 

So... when this lady came asking for a crutch, my mother offered support. She offered guidance. She offered to let this woman take charge of her life. 

But the woman laughed a little laugh and said: "But not everyone can be dynamic like you." 

At which point I jumped in with one word. Sadly, it isn't very nice, but it's the best description. "Bullshit." 

Here's why. People make this unfounded assumption that dynamism is something that you're born with. It's not. It's something you choose. But you can't say, today I'm going to be dynamic.

No. It's about going into your heart and looking at how you think and feel. If your automatic reaction is: "Oh woe is me... this happened, and then happened... and my dog died..." you're making yourself a victim of your life. I'm not saying that people don't have to face huge challenges in their lives. Really. I know that everyone does. But if you let your challenges become insurmountable in your eyes, you'll find yourself facing a challenge that will bulldoze you time and time again until you make it stop. Your life will own you. 

You won't own your life. 

So if you're on the way to the bottom, or already hit it, you might want to ask yourself some questions. What does this mean? Why are all these things so big for me? How can I deal with them in a way that builds me up? 

From own experience I can tell you that nothing strips to the core like hitting the rock bottom of your life. In that dark hole, I saw who I was. I saw what I wanted. I went through a hugely uncomfortable experience of living without a measure of success and who I was. For months. But man did I learn about dynamism. 

I came to a point where I said: I CAN'T let my life rule me like this. I HAVE to own my life. AND I'M STARTING TODAY. 

After that, my obstacles became stepping stones. Guide in my life, even. Issues about feeling meaningless had me volunteering to help with my church youth. Frustration with my life had me picking up writing again. And each new step brought all my problems into perspective. Even the big ones. 

My: "I'll never do this in my life's" became "How am I going to do this?" and later "What am I going to do first to make this possible?" 

In short, I started thinking like a winner. Like someone who wanted to own her life again. Like someone who WOULD own her life again, given time. 

And from there, moving forward became a natural thing, which made me dynamic. 

One last thing before I go, sometimes being dynamic does take help. But the right sort of help. So if you realize that you do need help, find it. But decide what you need before you do? Otherwise you'll end up frustrated. 

If you haven't gotten to the point of taking charge of your life, what is your insurmountable obstacle? Would you be able to take a period of time to take a look at it from a distance and from different angles? Would you? And once you realized the solution you need, would you choose to address the problem and become the owner of your life?