As of now...

For the next three hours after this post is up, I will be writing what I hope to be my last ever economics exam before I get my degree. 

Please think of me and/or pray for me. 

Good News

Hi all! Because of your wonderful support when things were looking bleak, I thought I'd let you know about yesterday.

As many of you suggested, I went to the lecturer and asked for either a re-mark or an explanation.

In the end, he gave me an extra 2%. Not the biggest score, but it makes a major difference. I now have predicate, which means that anything I get from my projects above the pass rate will make a huge difference.

Also, as far as I have been able to discover, I won't be writing about this particular portion again, so my chances of passing looks better and better.

So thank you again for your sympathy, support and prayers. I ask that you don't stop praying now, because my biggest battle is on the horizon. 31 October is the date for my Final Exam.

But... I don't understand.

I really don't.

And even when I know that I'm not supposed to, but somehow I really am struggling.

In fact, my hard-fought peace of mind is now pretty much gone.

With all my heart, I wish my last thought before I went to bed last night occurred to me tomorrow. Really I do.

My concert went very well. So well, in fact, that if the fall was physical, I'd probably be dead.

All because I had this spark fire in my mind that my test scores should be out. The test that I'd written that had gone so smoothly that I was actually optimistic about it.

So optimistic that I skipped right over my score because my mind refused to acknowledge what my eyes had seen.

I failed my test. In fact... I've missed my predicate. Five weeks of studying.

For... diddly squat.

Fortunately, I should get predicate for as long as I get above 50% on this upcoming project, but in the scope of things, I hardly care.

Because the stats are stacked against me.

1) Last year I got a big fat 0% for economics because I'd blanked.
2) This year I spent 5 weeks on three sections.
3) I was supposed to have four weeks for the extra three.
4) Now I have to spend four weeks on SEVEN sections.
5) Not that it matters, because I wrote well, remember? I KNEW everything I wrote about. And I still got half marks on every. single. question. (or the equivalent).

So... the basic inference I can draw from this is that unless I can take telepathy 101 in these coming weeks, I'm pretty much screwed. Because it's not as if I can study more than I've already learnt before.

But you know what's the worst? Year from now, 1st October will never again be the night of my first concert. It will be the night I failed.

Again.

Tomorrow...

Phew. Had a marathon rehearsal today. Four straight hours.

Luckily my voice held up quite well.

And... I forgot my words.

So annoying, because the one song that I'd think I'd be able to remember is the one I'm forgetting. Now I have to find a way to remember the damned song because if I can't do it for an empty room, how on earth will I do it in a hall full of people?

*Takes a VERY deep breath* But, I will not panic. I know that I know the song. I'm just going to have to repeat the lyrics until they become second nature.

Just not right now.

My voice needs to recover.

What I'm trying to say, though: Tomorrow, at 8P.M. Johannesburg time, START PRAYING. ;-)

Please and thank you!

Anything you need me to pray for?

This just blew me away...

With my recent post about a dose of perspective in mind, I thought I'd post this video of Emmanuel Kelly's first audition to X Factor in Australia.

My mom showed it to me this morning and it had me bawling my eyes out. So consider this fair warning. I hardly ever cry for something I see on TV, so don't watch this if you're without tissues or if you don't want to ruin your make-up...