As I mentioned before, last year was horrible for me. Almost nothing truly positive happened, and the good things to 2014 can largely be measured by all the negative things that didn't happen.
But a lot of bad things happened, mostly involved with people stabbing me and/or my family in the back.
I'd picked this word in March already, before the A to Z Challenge, and... well... even until this morning, I wasn't sure about what I'd learned.
Then, this morning, I ran into one of these back-stabbers.
And you know what? Other than a faint queasy feeling because it was a less than nice surprise, I felt nothing.
So becoming numb to my anger was the lesson I'd learned. Apparently, my soul knew this before my mind did. I'd learned not to be angry every time I see or think about people who hurt me.
In fact, I don't really feel hurt anymore. With every passing day, the hurt and anger is becoming more of a distant memory. And eventually one day, it'll probably strike me that I forgave them.
But for now, I think being numb is a good reaction, because it allows me to move on with my life regardless of what they think and/or do.
Which is just as well, because people who can so easily hurt those around them, truly don't deserve any more reaction than that.
Ever unexpectedly meet someone who hurt you? What happened?
5 comments:
Hello Misha, It is appreciable how openly you have written about feeling numb. I think at times its better to feel numb than being overcharged with negative emotions. We are all prone to feel down or depressed at some point or the other. Those are the times I think Numbness is better than harboring negativity.
I think numb is better than acting out. That would just bring you down to their level. I got a negative reaction to one of my stories from someone close the other day that left me feeling pretty numb too. But it's okay. If I can handle that, then negative reviews from strangers should be a snap.
What great lessons to take away from this, hopefully you've had closure from sharing this, and best wishes as you continue living your life with happiness!
Way to go! Here's a tip. Pray for them now. At first it will be more like you are whining to God asking Him to sick them. But if you keep it up, eventually, He'll show you the truth of them and their lives. And you'll find you truly can forgive them! It is so freeing!
Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to be stupid and allow someone to hurt you again. Forgiveness means you can see them as God sees them, let go of the past and wish them no harm.
I bump into people who were mean to me in school and some of my rather mean previous work colleagues all the time. I usually try to avoid them, but they are the ones who want to say Hi and want to know what I'm doing now and I just try and get away as soon as possible.
Your attitude is amazing. The fact that you can just keep going and not allow them to rattle you...awesome. Keep on being amazing, Misha.
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