Where I went this past weekend

Hey all, I'm back!

So... sorry about the lack of posts. Ran out of time before I could write them. But hey, I think they'll be pretty good, so at least you have something to look forward to this week. ;-)

In the meantime... I thought I'd share a few pictures of where I went. They're not all that good, because the good ones will become paintings, so you'll get to see them later. ^_^

If you're wondering, that's a telephone pole and a nest at sunset. No... ostriches didn't start to fly. It's actually a communal nest, where hundreds of birds live together because there aren't any trees in the are. They can apparently be quite a nuisance, because they mess up the phone connections. So yeah, this bit is pretty dry, since it's well on the way to the Kalahari desert. About a mile further on, there weren't anything to see except telephone poles, grass, fences and shrubs. But the moon was full and the grass almost white, so the earth seemed to glow. Sadly it didn't show in the pictures.

This was taken at a restaurant inside a nature reserve. The rock hybexes were so tame that they scurried past under the table to get to the delicious green plants. At least I assume they were delicious. Thankfully, this little guy stopped munching and posed for me to take a picture.

Quiver trees, so named because the Khoi-San used to cut them to size and hollow them out to carry their arrows.

The real reason to go up north this time of the year: Flower-time in Namaqualand. Interestingly, this wasn't taken too far away from the nest picture above. About a thirty minute drive south from that spot leads to much greener pastures. And orange... And yellow... and purple. If you're wondering, yes. This picture is of thousands of daisies in bloom.

Basically I spent this weekend surrounded by various types of beauty. It was truly inspiring and REALLY has me wanting to pick up a paint-brush...

I'm going away!

I'll be away from my computer for the large part starting tomorrow. Will be back (hopefully) on Monday.

There will be posts going live though, since I will be scheduling them ahead. While you're reading them, though, I'll be in Namaqualand, one of the most beautiful places in my beautiful country.

Thing is, I don't know what internet and reception is like up there. But that's good. I think a break will do me a world of good. As will a change of scenery.

I'll take lots and lots of pictures to show you guys what it's like up there, even though I'm pretty sure the pictures won't do the place justice.

First time in almost two years that I'm spending time away from home with my family, so I'm really looking forward to it.

See you on Monday!

X

Mayday mayday

Disclaimer: This is going to be a post about my Christian faith, so if you want to read on, feel free, but if you don't it might be better to head over to my Writing Blog. Thanks for understanding! X

Okay... so I haven't done a real faith related post in some time (April). Which sort of sucks, because it was one of the reasons why I started TCoML. I wanted to have a place to talk about aspects to my journey with God, hopefully with people who could understand, help and even challenge me.

But today, I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to confess something that you might have picked up from some of my posts, but that I've been avoiding in my writing.

You see... I've been struggling with my faith stalling since... well... November last year. I'm not talking about losing my faith in God, which is why I still intermittently did do faith-related posts. No, what I'm talking about is actually more my relationship with Him. At first, I'd thought it was because of my economics test failure, but it wasn't, because I still prayed to Him for guidance during the exam and He helped me do amazingly well. And I still prayed during church. And I still made time for Him for some quality time. I went on working with my church's youth, despite suffering some grave reservations with regards to how it had been handled.

And I guess it's enough for a lot of people. But coming from a place where I was in constant conversation with God, I wasn't a happy camper. Why? Because I'd go to God... and find myself unable to find a single thing to say. And then, He'd be quiet. There, but He'd be quiet. Sometimes He'd ask me to spend more time and tell me He wanted me to do things, and I'd try.

But the urgency was gone. I constantly fought my lethargy until about May this year and then just said to God: "Lord... I can't do this. I want to be near you. I want things to be as they had been, but the last flickers of my faith are being choked and I don't know what's doing it. Help me."

I got the most surprising answer back: "Stop trying. Keep the channels open. I'll be in touch."

And that was that. No pressure. No "do this, do that or else". Just... stop trying. Keep the channels open. I'll be in touch.

Huh? Oh...kay... So I did the one thing most churches I've been to say NEVER to do. I stopped. Not believing, not loving God. But everything else. Basically I took the stalling airplane that was my faith and turned off the engines. No reading the Bible. No prayer time. No smallgroups. No nothing except that I kept going to church because I still had obligations to the youth.

What I did do, though, is kept the channels open. No matter what I did, I kept the channels open. If God wanted to say ANYTHING to me, I was ready to receive it.

But June passed. July passed. And almost three weeks of August passed.

Nothing. There were some moments where we talked, but nothing like what it had been. But He was there. Constantly. His presence constantly pressed against my thoughts. It was a great comfort.

And then, the youth leader left and was replaced. And my brother, cousin, a friend and me decided we'd start a smallgroup for people our age.

There was a flicker of life. And then the engines started turning on their own. That's where they are now. Starting and stuttering, but definitely getting to work. And the best thing is that He's still here with me. The difference being that I'm getting murmurings now. AND I'm praying in instants. Even if it's just to say: wow God, you're so wonderful! And since last Wednesday, these prayers have become more and more frequent.

Needless to say I'm really excited. Because my spirit is coming alive again and I can see it going through the rest of my life as well.

The best thing is that I figured out what stalled my faith in the first place. But that's a post for another day.

Sunday, perhaps?

Have you ever been to a point where it felt as if your faith was being choked out, but you couldn't stop it because you didn't know why? What did you do?

Still not flu-free

Just when I think I've beaten the flu, it sucks me under again. Sigh.

But at least, because of the fact that I can't focus on anything else, I've finally gotten started with my oil painting. Didn't pick the easiest subject ever, so we'll have to see how it turns out.

In the mean time, I have two parts of Doorways waiting for me to edit as soon as I stop having this splitting head-ache.

But yeah... struggling to focus on anything at this stage, so I'm going to sign off now and hope I can post something worthwhile on Friday.

Remember that I'm always thinking of you! Please let me know if you need for me to pray for anything. I know I haven't asked in ages, and I feel pretty bad about it. X

Quick Update

I'm finally winning the flu, which I am completely and utterly thrilled about.

So now I have boundless energy. Which is a great thing, because I suddenly have a ton of things to do.

My CP sent back Part 8 of Doorways, so I have a lot to edit. Then my youth group has to rehearse for a quick "drama" for church on Sunday. And on Sunday morning, my choir is singing.

Of the three, I'm probably not going to sing, because my voice is still raw from all the coughing. But we'll see how it goes.

I must feel that I feel a lot better about the Youth Group now that I know we're actually doing something again. We have a new Youth Pastor now, so hopefully he'll be what my church's youth needs to grow.

So that's me. Will definitely try to be better about posting this coming week.

How are you doing?

Have a great weekend!