I'm going away!

I'll be away from my computer for the large part starting tomorrow. Will be back (hopefully) on Monday.

There will be posts going live though, since I will be scheduling them ahead. While you're reading them, though, I'll be in Namaqualand, one of the most beautiful places in my beautiful country.

Thing is, I don't know what internet and reception is like up there. But that's good. I think a break will do me a world of good. As will a change of scenery.

I'll take lots and lots of pictures to show you guys what it's like up there, even though I'm pretty sure the pictures won't do the place justice.

First time in almost two years that I'm spending time away from home with my family, so I'm really looking forward to it.

See you on Monday!

X

Mayday mayday

Disclaimer: This is going to be a post about my Christian faith, so if you want to read on, feel free, but if you don't it might be better to head over to my Writing Blog. Thanks for understanding! X

Okay... so I haven't done a real faith related post in some time (April). Which sort of sucks, because it was one of the reasons why I started TCoML. I wanted to have a place to talk about aspects to my journey with God, hopefully with people who could understand, help and even challenge me.

But today, I'm going to tell you why. I'm going to confess something that you might have picked up from some of my posts, but that I've been avoiding in my writing.

You see... I've been struggling with my faith stalling since... well... November last year. I'm not talking about losing my faith in God, which is why I still intermittently did do faith-related posts. No, what I'm talking about is actually more my relationship with Him. At first, I'd thought it was because of my economics test failure, but it wasn't, because I still prayed to Him for guidance during the exam and He helped me do amazingly well. And I still prayed during church. And I still made time for Him for some quality time. I went on working with my church's youth, despite suffering some grave reservations with regards to how it had been handled.

And I guess it's enough for a lot of people. But coming from a place where I was in constant conversation with God, I wasn't a happy camper. Why? Because I'd go to God... and find myself unable to find a single thing to say. And then, He'd be quiet. There, but He'd be quiet. Sometimes He'd ask me to spend more time and tell me He wanted me to do things, and I'd try.

But the urgency was gone. I constantly fought my lethargy until about May this year and then just said to God: "Lord... I can't do this. I want to be near you. I want things to be as they had been, but the last flickers of my faith are being choked and I don't know what's doing it. Help me."

I got the most surprising answer back: "Stop trying. Keep the channels open. I'll be in touch."

And that was that. No pressure. No "do this, do that or else". Just... stop trying. Keep the channels open. I'll be in touch.

Huh? Oh...kay... So I did the one thing most churches I've been to say NEVER to do. I stopped. Not believing, not loving God. But everything else. Basically I took the stalling airplane that was my faith and turned off the engines. No reading the Bible. No prayer time. No smallgroups. No nothing except that I kept going to church because I still had obligations to the youth.

What I did do, though, is kept the channels open. No matter what I did, I kept the channels open. If God wanted to say ANYTHING to me, I was ready to receive it.

But June passed. July passed. And almost three weeks of August passed.

Nothing. There were some moments where we talked, but nothing like what it had been. But He was there. Constantly. His presence constantly pressed against my thoughts. It was a great comfort.

And then, the youth leader left and was replaced. And my brother, cousin, a friend and me decided we'd start a smallgroup for people our age.

There was a flicker of life. And then the engines started turning on their own. That's where they are now. Starting and stuttering, but definitely getting to work. And the best thing is that He's still here with me. The difference being that I'm getting murmurings now. AND I'm praying in instants. Even if it's just to say: wow God, you're so wonderful! And since last Wednesday, these prayers have become more and more frequent.

Needless to say I'm really excited. Because my spirit is coming alive again and I can see it going through the rest of my life as well.

The best thing is that I figured out what stalled my faith in the first place. But that's a post for another day.

Sunday, perhaps?

Have you ever been to a point where it felt as if your faith was being choked out, but you couldn't stop it because you didn't know why? What did you do?

Still not flu-free

Just when I think I've beaten the flu, it sucks me under again. Sigh.

But at least, because of the fact that I can't focus on anything else, I've finally gotten started with my oil painting. Didn't pick the easiest subject ever, so we'll have to see how it turns out.

In the mean time, I have two parts of Doorways waiting for me to edit as soon as I stop having this splitting head-ache.

But yeah... struggling to focus on anything at this stage, so I'm going to sign off now and hope I can post something worthwhile on Friday.

Remember that I'm always thinking of you! Please let me know if you need for me to pray for anything. I know I haven't asked in ages, and I feel pretty bad about it. X

Quick Update

I'm finally winning the flu, which I am completely and utterly thrilled about.

So now I have boundless energy. Which is a great thing, because I suddenly have a ton of things to do.

My CP sent back Part 8 of Doorways, so I have a lot to edit. Then my youth group has to rehearse for a quick "drama" for church on Sunday. And on Sunday morning, my choir is singing.

Of the three, I'm probably not going to sing, because my voice is still raw from all the coughing. But we'll see how it goes.

I must feel that I feel a lot better about the Youth Group now that I know we're actually doing something again. We have a new Youth Pastor now, so hopefully he'll be what my church's youth needs to grow.

So that's me. Will definitely try to be better about posting this coming week.

How are you doing?

Have a great weekend!

Why I took all google images off of my blogs

Hi all! I guess I could have written a huge long post about it, but I've found two posts that did really well to convince me as to the dangers of using copyrighted photos.

So... I'll link you to the first one instead. Please please please don't let ignorance come back and bite you. And please please share with your blogging friends.

If you haven't read Roni's story, please do so now.

Thanks!

Have you heard about this before? Are you taking down copyrighted images?

P.S. Thank you, Madeleine, for bringing it to my attention.

Flu blues

This flu is really getting me down. Because no longer am I missing out on only fun activities, but I had to withdraw from an important church meeting because it's happening at night and the temperature is dropping. 

Sigh. 

And the worst is that I can't reach the Youth Pastor, so I texted him, but still, it feels really lame. Because I already said I could go before the weather changed. 

So now it looks as if I decided to flip everything off just to go do something else while a simple telephone conversation would reveal that I can barely speak. 

Yeah... not cool. Not having a voice also means that I have NO way of singing today. Which isn't remotely cool either.

Worst of all... I have nothing particularly good to say, except that maybe I can slip away early from work today and get some writing done. I really hope I can, because then I've at least managed to achieve something meaningful in my day...

What about you? What do you do to combat flu? 

Now this is annoying, but might be a good thing.

So the tummy bug went away, but now I have flu. Yeah. Just can't seem to win. Still, this is an actual winters flu and not a summer one, so I feel like I at least took the step in the right direction.

But you know what? These setbacks actually motivate me more.

Yeah I know I know. I probably won't be able to move tomorrow. But I really want to get back to healthy living.

Not because I'm gaining weight (don't think I am yet) but because I could feel within days when I started feeling less than good. And it happened because of a diet change for the worse. During our move to the new house, we basically lived on fast food and that still hasn't changed.

Boy am I feeling it now.

So. I am definitely getting back to drinking copious amounts of water and rooibos tea (very good for when I have flu) and then I'm definitely eating better. And once I'm better, I'm definitely exercising again.

Because this feeling crap thing really isn't working for me.

Especially since it was partly to blame for me missing fencing tonight. I don't like when things set me back. And my health going back to what it was is definitely standing in my way. So changes will be made.

What about you? Want to join me and work on living more healthily?

Singing and Stabbing...

Finally, after weeks of postponed classes, I've resumed my solo singing instruction. 

I expected that I'd have to learn everything all over again, but for some reason, my voice just settled into the right place. Even my A-vowel, which used to slip into my throat. 

I even hit the high G without any issues. Which is amazing, given that a few weeks ago I had to stretch for it. 

So now I get to sing higher than before. Which is pretty cool. It's really interesting to see where my voice will go. So far neither me nor my instructor really knows. We'll see. 

Credit

In the meantime, we're also back to writing the musical, so I have to start knocking together some lyrics soon. I'm really excited about the project, because the bits of it that we have are really starting to fall into place. 

Now it's just a question of dedication...

In related news, I decided to take up fencing again. A decision I can solely blame on the Olympics. There's just something about the sound of clashing blades that fires my blood. The only thing is that the classes I want to attend are about an hour away and classes happen at night. I'll take one class and see what's it's like at the end energy-wise. Hopefully I won't want to pass out at the end of the lesson. 

But I'll see that on Wednesday. 

What's news at your end of the world? 

Choices choices...

Before I start, I just want to apologize for not posting on Wednesday. I've been struggling to maintain both blogs while unpacking. Luckily for me, things are settling down. I've even found the bedding and curtains I wanted.

Soon my room will be fixed up. I just need to find my desk, because sadly I haven't had time to find it yet. 

I'm really getting to the point where I can't do anything else. I don't have a surface in my room yet, so no lamps, not vases. No nothing until I've at least bought my desk. 

So now I'm sitting on coals, waiting to go shopping. 

It helps that I know more what I'm looking for. 

At first I always wanted a french bureau like this: 

But it's too small for what I need. So now I want this: 

For lots of storage space. 

Or ideally...

For lots of space, period. And I love that this one has a panel that I can use for my laptop.

It has to be antique, though. Because I'm not spending a large amount of money on something that is in essence without value. So generic writing desks from decor shops: OUT. 

Hopefully I'll get a good desk for a price where we can afford a chair as well... 

So that's what's going on in my life. What's up at your end of the world?